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Do any other ladies feel the same about this???

Do you think that as a wife, it is your obligation and duty to make sure that you keep yourself in decent shape. I feel that it is part of my wifely duties to keep my self desirable for my husband. Don't get me wrong, he would love me either way, this is my standard. I know the " for better or worse," and " he should love you no matter what," but I feel women who let themselves completely go, are kinda setting themselves up, for their partner to find them less desirable. And along with this wandering eyes occur. This does not mean that I condone men who cheat, and use that as their excuse, but I can see how that circumstance could arise. What do you think?

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doublefistin

Asked by doublefistin at 1:49 PM on Aug. 27, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (17)
  • I completely agree with you. And that door swings both ways too. Your husband should do the same for you.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 1:51 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • no unless they are conceded and full of themselves to start, i mean men let them selves go as well my hubby was 180 when we met 9 years ago and is now 230 i was 170 and now 220 and you know what we both still love each other as we did from day 1 i think its not your body its your attitude on life and yourself
    peytonJJ27

    Answer by peytonJJ27 at 1:51 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • While that is a nice attitude to have spit out a few more children, kick in chemical problems and why not add hallucinations during sleep that causes you not to be able to sleep and let's see you feel the same way you do now. I was like you at one time, felt that you should be able to keep yourself kept up no matter what, but after have three kids in one year, a 9 year old autistic, working third shift for years and the previous mention I just don't have it in me to be a trophy wife. Judge me if you want, my Husband still trys to jump me every chance he gets.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I agree the door swings both ways...although I would never let my body go. I do it more though because it makes ME feel good.
    Lauren24

    Answer by Lauren24 at 1:54 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • It would be nice if us women could always look like those in Hollywierd and since this is reality, its not going to always be like that....we can try the best that we can to keep ourselves looking decent, but with running a home, taking care of children and trying to keep our sanity.....we do get alittle out of hand, some more than others.


    I would like my husband looking at ALL times like the models on GQ magazine.....almost 8 years later, I do not.. have not and probably will not see this.....


    So since he loved what he saw when he met me, saw some changes along the way as he has grown with me in this marriage, than he should continue to love me as I am and keep that eye wandering around ALL of this....my eye can wander too

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:54 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Anonymous - how did you have 3 kids in one year, one being a 9 year old autistic child??
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 1:58 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • My husband does see the real me, He sees me at 18. It has been a couple of decades. Nice thing to worry about in your 30's, but either life bites you in the butt or you get lucky. Nobody purposely lets themselves go. Your attitude is part of the problem.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • doesn't
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Anon here, I had a child in late April a few months later I got pregnant with twins, the twins came at 32 weeks which turned out to be the early part of April the next year therefore I had 3 children in less than a year. I also have a nine year old autistic.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Feesharose, what difference does it make? But I'm sure you misunderstood. she said she has a 9 yr old autistic child, then had 3 in one year. Beyond that, to answer the question, yes, I feel that is my obligation too. Doesn't it make you feel good to see your DH come home and melt when he looks at you? Sure, he's supposed to love you, but wouldn't you rather him WANT TO love you, and desire you, instead of just co-habitate and love you for the person you are? Man, I do my best to bring that lust back, even after the fact that I'm still carrying 25 extra lbs from my pregnancy 4 mos ago! I love the look in his eyes, and I really appreciate the, "You look really nice, babe." and the pat on the butt. Makes me feel good, glad to know I'm not alone!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 2:08 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

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