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When comforting words are not enough?

When their dh/so has cheated or hurt them in a bad way...What else can you say or do other than just be there for the person...what make yourself available for them I guess that is what they mean just be there for them.

I just feel like calling every few minutes to see if they are ok or what?

You can only do so much.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Aug. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Yeah, just be there for them, listen to them. Don't say too much...because you never know what's going to happen to their relationship. Be there for them but not too much either...they need space to figure this out by themselves! Help them out. If they have kids take them for a few hours so the parents can talk.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 2:02 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • They have to work it out for themselves so don't call them all the time. Let them call you when they want to talk and just listen when they do. The key word there was listen. Don't do much talking. Don't advise bc it can come back and bite you in the butt. Just keep asking what they want to do about it if they ask for advice.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:35 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • The best help I got was a friend that was willing to talk to me whenever I needed. She would always help. Just by listening and basically repeating, "I hear you saying you feel......" Hearing it repeated back really helped me to actually know what I was feeling, because although I was talking, I couldn't define what feelings I was having. The biggest thing was she never judged. And she NEVER advised what I should do. She offered suggestions of things that had helped her. She invited me to be with her and her friends/family when they did something. She would say stuff like "your safety is the most important thing", or "i needed a stable home, that is very important to me". (she had similar issues as me in a former marriage). Don't tell your friend what to do, but be there to support what she decides to do. That is the best help you can give.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Oh and for a while, my friend would call every day to check on me and it was my favorite part of the day. I am generally a very private person, but she helped so much, I can't even describe. Calling every five minutes to check would be too much Lol. I had a friend for 18 years and all she did was make it worse, telling me what to do and trying to break us up and offering unwanted opinions on stuff she didn't even know about. (we aren't friends anymore). But this friend (post above), I had only known a few months was more a friend and truly there for me in a way that no one had ever been!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

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