Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Question for SAHMs (not a drama question)

(or at least it shouldnt be)
When did you decide to be a SAHM?
Was it something you and your husband discussed before having children, or something you decided on for finacial reasons (e.g. cost of daycare outweighing second income) or did you become a SAHM after working for a while because you were in a better position for it (etc...)?

Answer Question

Asked by AMsMommy212 at 2:23 PM on Aug. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 9 (331 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • We discussed it before getting married. Along with other important issues such as handling money, child rearing philosophy, and caring for extended family members in need.

    Answer by Bmat at 2:25 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • we decided maily cause i wanted to and the worked out for us plus dh's x wife she would drop my sd's off to me every am and she saved money on daycare and so did we..and dh is happy cause he knows whos watching the kids...

    Answer by tabbys4 at 2:27 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I wasn't able to go back to my job, b/c of the hours, it was a clerical position, just not your normal 8-5 job. I was living in a new city and knew no-one, didn't have anyway of getting daycare, so I stayed home, we finally moved from there and I'm around family, I'm now pregnant again but looking for work, (my daughter is 11mos), we're suffering financialy and I would love to be working but no-one wants to hire a 6month preg woman, so I'm hitting the work scene back after my next 6 weeks. I don't see how people make it as a SAHM unless they are financially well off. It's worth it though!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I became a SAHM after the birth of my last baby 14 months ago. Before we got pregnant we knew it was something I had always wanted to do. We paid off all our debt, saved money and didn't spend on unnecessary things. The timing was right and I get to be home with my kids. I don't plan on doing this forever day I'll go back to the workforce. But for now I will enjoy every minute of it.

    Answer by mamaada at 2:29 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • We discussed it when I found out I was pregnant. We discussed everything from breastfeeding to staying home. We made a compromise. Since we would be saving money with breastfeeding and not having to pay for child care it was an easy decision. The benefits outweighed the money. It was what was best for all of us. Now 13 yrs later and 2 more children, I wouldn't change a thing. We have great kids and I feel that staying home with them has made played a big part in that.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 2:30 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I knew I wanted to be a SAHM from the time I wanted to be a mother - or about 4 years of age. Hubby and I discussed it before we married and we both felt very strongly that I should stay home and homeschool our children. Now that I have a son, he's 16 months old, I love staying home with him and being there for him whenever he needs me. I wouldn't change a thing.

    Answer by YzmaRocks at 2:39 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • we decided when we got pregnant.. it was a hard one though daycare would ahve been almost all my checks, and its been tough licing on a single income for the last 4 years

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 2:44 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • You can discuss it before marriage or at anytime, but you never know what life is going to bring you. Even if your financially ready anything can happen. You two should talk about how long you should be a SAHM, compromise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I always wanted to stay home with my child, even though I knew realistically it probably wasn't financially doable. Then we discovered I was having twins and it became possible, since the cost of daycare pretty much equaled the paycheck I was bringing home--why not stay home and KNOW how your kids are being treated?

    Answer by SaraCVT at 2:49 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • We had only barely talked about having children when we got a surprise BFP. DH and I both decided that if I stayed home we'd know our baby was being taken care of and I wouldn't be spending my whole check on daycare. That said, it was not smooth sailing for a very long time. It's not always great now even though he has a better job now and health insurance for all of us. But our kids are worth it. We were even able to finally have our second baby and I'm soaking up being a SAHM.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:55 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.