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Should the boyfriend EVER have the right...

to physically reprimand the girlfriend's kids?

My mom's boyfriend told my little sister (11) to get off his couch. He wanted to sit down, and my sister said, "No, go sit in a chair." (which I understand is rude, but try getting a preteen to understand that when those values have never been instilled)

The boyfriend then proceeded to grab my little sister by the hair on the back of her neck, and lead her into a completely different room.

Is there anything I can do? Anything my dad or sister could do?

My parent's aren't divorced yet, and custody has not been established, but had it been a stranger, we could press charges.

The boyfriend also happens to be one of my dad's best friends since childhood, and is having a hard time containing himself in the situation anyway. Is there a resolution I can offer my dad?

Answer Question

Asked by matobe at 2:28 PM on Aug. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 21 (10,174 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I'd talk to mom and the sis, plus if he doesn't stop being physical I'd call CPS, and let my mom know I'm gonna do it if she doesn't get a handle on her boyfriend.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Call CPS on your mom and her boyfriend. Your mom should be telling him not to discipline her DD


    Answer by louise2 at 2:31 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Well, we are a spanking family, but that doesn't give her BF a reason to step in, does it? Even if she gave him permission?

    Answer by matobe at 2:33 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Grabbing her by her hair is not spanking. He sounds like he has issues and doesn't need to be around children. It's not his place to discipline your sister and if I were in your place I'd be making a call to CPS.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:36 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Spanking is different but he shouldn't beable to, he's grabbing her by her hair, he needs his @ss whopped!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Um, NO! I would be outraged! That sure isn't the way to treat any child - your own or anyone else's! Is your mom fully aware of what transpired?!? I would gentley talk to your mother and tell her that you are concerned. If he's new to your family, and already is acting that way with LITTLE provacation...imagine how out-of-control it could get!
    Before bringing it to the father I personally would say to the boyfriend that you are concerned about his reaction. And tell him that that is never going to be a way that he is allowed to act around any of your family members. Perhaps not using the word "abuse", but simply that is what that is. Tell him if that continues your father will be notified. And if that doesn't end it, he will not be accepted in the family.
    Really, unfortunately, it is your mom's or your duty to protect your sister. He obviously is lacking respect for her as a person......

    Answer by BearlyXen at 2:37 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • ...and for your sister's peace of mind, and safety, she needs to know that she is not alone to face this!
    There is more than one way to deal with this problem. Perhaps a family meeting, including the boyfriend, is a good way to deal with this. Boyfriend can then air his thoughts on your sister's backtalk, express how he'd prefer to be spoken to. And then sister can have a chance to respond.
    I'm sorry this has to be going on! Best to put an end to it, before it gets further out of hand!

    Good luck!

    Answer by BearlyXen at 2:40 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Ok, so my mom was right there, and as my sister sank to the floor in tears, my mom stared and said, "You will do as you are told."

    There is no compromise with my mom. I almost wish there was a way to go above and beyond her and smack her in the face with paperwork she doesn't expect.

    And my sister told my dad. He's the one that told me.

    And this boyfriend will NOT be accepted by our family, as he was my dad's very best friend, for well over 30 years.

    Answer by matobe at 2:40 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Since custody has not been established your dad needs to get it ASAP. Your mom is failing to protect her own daughter...Tell your sister to tell the school counsler about this. CPS will step in and ask a family member to take her and if not fostercare will....This is where you or your dad get her and get to keep her safe. Lord knows what else is going on or could happen! get your sister safe and out of the bf's way before it gets worse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • That is abuse no matter who the person is. Call cps now!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

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