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my husband and I have been talking about another baby alot lately. My daughter (from previous marriage) will be 3 in march. We both want a baby but want to be smart about when we do it. My hubby has been with my daughter since she was 9months so to her thats her daddy, to him thats his baby. I just graduated College and currently looking for a job. My hubby works 2 jobs to provide and does a pretty good job. we just got married about 4 months ago. Wha should I do, should I wait to get a job then try a year later or should I go for it now and see what happens. We both are torn over the decision. On one hand we feel that a baby is a gift from God and he will give us the means to take care of it, and on the other hand this is 2009 in the middle of a recession. Any advice is needed!

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Aug. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • My husband and I are in the same prediciment. I lost my job in February and have been a stay at home mom every since my daughter just turned one and we really want to add to the family. We are struggling fianacially but then I realized we will never be able to afford another child because I cant afford to put 2 children in daycare so I can work. We have already had to make big adjustments and I told him I'm willing to make whatever sacrifices have to be made. Having a family is more important to me then material things and also my mom always told me that no matter what kind of situation your in the new baby will always fit in perfectly. Good Luck.

    Answer by drs1206 at 3:52 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • This isnt' really something that someone can give advice for really. If I were in your shoes, I would wait a while, only because I would want to enjoy just being married. You both have a beautiful 3 year old. God does not give us money to care for someone, I wish he did. We have several choices in front of us every day, and which ever choice we make comes with a consequence. I'm not saying that you and your hubby shouldn't have a baby, again I'm not in your relationship so I can't say. But personally I would just enjoy being married for a while. Best of luck in whatever you decide to do

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 3:55 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I say wait. You've only been married 4 months, and your marriage will be better able to handle the stress of adding another baby in a year or two (I know you already have one, but adding another will add stress - enjoy and solidify what you have). You also just finished college, and it would be really wise to get a job and use your degree so it doesn't become stale; it will be much harder to find something several years after graduation if you haven't used it, and it will make a bad impression on your employer if you take maternity leave soon after you start a new job.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Oh PS. My hub and I have 2 children, they are 5.5 years apart, it hasn't harmed them in ANY way, and it was great because I was able to devote as much time to my youngest as I did my oldest. Our financial situation was awful when our oldest was born, and it stayed that way for a while. Plus our son had medical issues so we made the choice to wait untill he was healthy and our finances were going to be better, it has nothing to do with materialism, it has to do with survival and paying bills. We waited a long time to have our beautiful daughter, and she was soo worth the wait. Oh yea they are 16 and 10 now lol

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 3:58 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I would wait also, because a baby can be very stressful. You've got time.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:10 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Get to know each other as man and wife for a while before jumping into increasing the family. There is no rush. See where the economy is going. Save up so there are no surprises financially. Get all your ducks in a row and a nice nest egg then move to the next level.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:31 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • You should wait until things have settled down before you decide anything. It sounds like you have had a busy life lately. You need some time to settle in. Jumping into a baby and/or job right now might prove to be very stressful. Once things have settled down and you have a routine going and your schedule is worked out, then you might want to try for a second baby.

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 7:50 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • i held off waiting for the best time to have a baby and i found that their is no perfect time to have one. just have one. you have 9 months to at least get further along in life or job seach etc. i agree with first poster. if you can't afford a baby during hard times then when it gets better the better off you are. to us we have always been poor but we get by and were having another. no one suffers we just don't live with luxuries. our family is all we need.

    Answer by melody77 at 9:25 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

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