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Why do women get mad about how their husband's ex spends the child support money?

Okay, i am not in this situation but i often wonder why women complain about their husband's ex buying stuff for herself, paying rent, bills etc. What if she used her money to cover the expenses for the kids and replaced it when she received the Dad's child support money?

For example: School is coming around, mom spends all her money on back to school stuff, Child support money comes around now she uses it for herself since she covered all the back to school stuff . Doesn't that sound fair?

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Aug. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (24)
  • It does sound fair, and child support is not all for new shoes and clothes. It is also to help pay rent, utilities and groceries. Child support is well and good as long as the children are being taken care of it really doesn't matter how Mom (or Dad in some cases) spends the money. The problem falls in when the child support money is coming in, bills are not paid and kids have ratty clothes on. Most people spend it correctly but there are some that just see it as extra booze or drug money.

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 6:00 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • i DONT think it matters as long as the kids are taken care of. I would use my child support sometimes to go somewhere fun cause I just spent all my $ earlier on bills ect. I can understand if its spent on drugs or alcohol then i would get mad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • If the person paying child support raises a fuss about the way CS is spend. The one receiving CS may be investigated and could get in trouble if the officals think they arent spending it on the child its for. CS is for the care of the child which means bills, clothes and other necessities.Its not just for fun things. I have to wait one more month to finally get a fraction of the back child support i am owed. I plan on paying a bill or two getting my girl more school clothes and paying on her karate class so that I'm not behind on it anymore. My ex is such an ass that i will have to keep account of every penny i spend because i know he is going to accuse me of squandering it all away.


    Answer by momie_of_munch2 at 6:16 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • To be perfectly honest, I don't know what my husband's ex spends the child support on, and quite frankly I don't care. My step son is well taken care of, has a roof over his head, and is not starving. When I first got together with my husband, I complained once to my mom, about her using the money for bills, like her car payment, and she promptly pointed out the fact that she has to have a car, so she can drive him to school. Drive to the store to get groceries. Take him to doctors appointments. If she uses it to pay rent, well at-least he has a roof over his head. I saw her point, and I realized even if she benefits from the money a little too, at-least he is well cared for. That is what's important, not the money or how it's spent.

    Answer by my2.5boys at 6:28 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • AMEn my2.5boys..finally a woman who is mature enough to get it

    Answer by mamakirs at 6:36 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Well I get mad because every time I see the kids, including photos of them at the school, they are dressed in dirty rags.
    And when they are at my house they tell me that she never cooks vegetables.
    And every time they visit and arrive at 10:00 AM they are hungry and say they forgot to have breakfast.
    And the boy never shows up in his own shoes. He's always wearing his cousin's slippers that are 2 sizes too big.
    And every visit they tell me that they didn't brush their teeth that morning.

    So, yeah, I'm wondering where his $725 a month is going. Do you blame me?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • She can spend the money any way she wants. Women who marry men that pay child support should know that and not cause any problems for anyone.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 7:30 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Excuse me for expecting the children to be clothed and fed. I was under the impression that that's part of what the child support was for. If they were living with their father they would be clothed and fed. Since he's not living with them he's providing money to see to it that they have food and clothing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • What I always wonder is how these women know what she's spending that money on? I mean, ok, if the kid is obviously not getting what they need, sure, then you know that mom isn't spending it appropriately. But, when my ex was paying the child support, I always just deposited it in my bank account, and wrote checks or used my debit card as needed. My kids got new clothes or shoes as needed, school supplies, anything and everything they needed. And I certainly would have never informed my ex's new girlfriend or wife of what I spent the money on. My ex, had he taken me to court to request an accounting, would have been told what I just said here. As someone else said, car payments and rent are to the benefit of the child, too, for a roof over their head, to get to school and even just so mom can get to work to provide her part of the child's necessities.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:03 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • It's very fair. It doesn't matter how much child support the man pays. The woman ALWAYS spends more on the child, and it's not all financial. She is the MAIN CAREGIVER. She wipes every damn nose, wipes every butt, cooks the meals, cleans the house, does the laundry, gives baths. She's the main disciplinarian. She's the chauffeur, the referee, the maid. GIVE HER A FREAKING BREAK. If she wants to spend a little child support on a pair of jeans for herself, MORE POWER TO HER. She deserves it.

    Answer by Fallaya at 8:04 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

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