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Hubby still attracted to ex...

My husband and I met through a friend of mine who had dated him in the past. She had moved on and didn't care at all if we dated. So we gave it a go and things worked out. :-) My hubby has not kept in touch with our matchmaker but I have. Recently we ran into her at a restaurant and chatted for a while. I didn't feel jealous or anything at the time, but later my husband and I were talking and he said something like "The attraction never really goes away". I'm like "Ooooooookay....". He immediately realized that I was upset and said "Don't twist my words! I just mean that a man and a woman who were in a relationship can't be just friends". Which obviously didn't make me feel better in the least. lol. I want to continue to be friends with this woman, but now I feel threatened. Am I over-reacting?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Aug. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I don't think you are overreacting. I'd be pissed too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I don't think you are over reacting because it human nature to feel threatened sometimes. Just remember he chose to stop talking to her, so he really wanted things to work out when he met you. My husbands best friend is now dating my husband ex girlfriend. Like real ex girlfriend they where together for like 2 and half years, my hubby was her first yada yada yada. The first time we all hung out I was also 8 month big and fat pregnant, so yeah even though it was a long time ago and he really has nothing nice to ever say about her. I felt a little threatened. We kinda just decided to take a step back from them. We are still friends but we just don't commuicate and hang out like we used to.

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 9:21 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Well, i know for fact that my man is no longer attracted to his ex's. Although, he broke up w/ most of I don't think all men are forever attracted to their ex's. I think it can be the opposite for most guys, especially if the guy broke it off. Obviously, something was not right. But, when the woman breaks it can scar a guy too. He lost the game, that hurts their pride & makes some men wonder about them & what went wrong.

    I think that your guys just still happens to be attracted, & is making excuses for himself to make it seem OK & normal. My guys is the opposite. He's see an ex, & feels embarassed that he ever had a relationship w/ them.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:35 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • And I'm stil attracted to Patrick Dempsey, Jude Law and Johnny Depp, so what?

    Attraction is attraction and doesn't mean anything. Your husband and you will both be attracted to many people during the course of your marriage.

    It's whether or not he chooses to act on that attraction or not is what is important. I would talk to him about that, and if he acts like you're crazy for even considering it, and that he loves you. You probably don't have anything to worry about.

    Whether you can be friends with her, that's up to you to decide if you can be friends with her knowing your husband is attracted to her.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:28 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • the attraction should have gone away....

    I would be pissed AND concerned !!!!

    trust me when I say if my EX and I were locked in a room for a month together I would not be attracted to him in any way or want anything to do with him in an intimate way at all.....

     can you say RED FLAG !!


    Answer by justgrape723 at 10:30 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Uh! I think he shoud have kept his mouth shut...I think he could of just opened a can of worms.

    What you should have done never continue to be that friendly with the matchmaker.

    Now you will be wondering what if...Men are men some men speak their mind and some keep it to themselves and maybe wonder but that is all... don't worry about it and don't say nothing to the matchmaker..just let it go and watch for signs just in case...but for now I would let it go. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:35 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • As women we (sorry to say) do see more into things than we should. We assume men think before they speak. Well they dont. Flat out ask him if he would ever go back to her.

    Answer by busymom1107 at 11:49 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • There's a great differance between attraction and knowing someone from your past, if,he was bold enough to speak those words out loud and clear to you,that attraction is really in his heart, I don't think the dumbest man on earth would tell his wife,"yes,I'm still attracted to my ex". Oh, it's also a great differance between being attracted to an ex and a movie star. You do have the right to the truth,but, if,you can't take the truth,don't bother. By the way, you didn't over-react.

    Answer by lady-t3984 at 9:05 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

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