Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Parent-child relationship

This will give me away to my friends, but my friends know I'm not a pervert too.

I was hurt recently, and I need some advice. My husband has been helping me dress, etc as my arms were both injured in this broke with surgery, and one cracked.

Here's my delima. My dh is a truckdriver and just got a run. Is my 13 yo dd old enough to help me get dressed, as in stuffing my breasts into my bra? As a survivor of child sexual molestation, I'm very uneasy about situations such as this, and I'd like some advice. It would mean me staying in the same clothes for 2 days til dh gets back, but if my dd is too young for this, I'm willing to sacrifice it and take a shower as soon as dh gets back. There is nobody else to help me with this.


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Aug. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • It all depends, is she mature enough to understand this is to help her momma? or to laugh? or whatever. Sit her down and tell her your hurt and need help until her dad comes home. Tell her what shes going to have to do.

    Answer by tha-hawt-mommie at 9:50 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I dont see anything wrong with it. You are both female and I think she's old enough to understand that she would be just helping you out. I think it would be a little different if it was a son.

    Answer by drs1206 at 9:52 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • OP here. OMG! I just did it! With dh's encouragement, I put on a bra that hooked in the back, and I was successful! I may get dd to help me with things like jeans, but I'll be covered with undergarments by that time. I have some mobility restored to my right arm, and with my brace off, I was able to do what needed to be done...for the first time in almost a month!

    Small victories, but I'm happy about it because it means that recovery is closer!!

    This means I can take a shower alone and get dd to help me with jeans and such. I've been able to do my own shoes a few days now, and the list of independent things grows.

    However, I'd still like to hear everyone's opinion on this in case another lady is going through the same thing and is afraid to speak up.

    Answer by rhope4 at 9:53 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Forgot to hit that anon button, lol. Oh well, it happens.

    My daughter has been VERY helpful in other ways since I got hurt. When both arms were in splints, she was brushing my hair (still does that), teeth, and feeding me. I can do the latter two myself, and dh has been doing everything else for me til I get to where I can do them myself.

    She'd know she'd be helping me. I think she'd be a little curious to see what she may look like as she matures, but I think it'll be the only thing.

    Answer by rhope4 at 9:55 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I dont see anything wrong with it, I helped my aunt starting at the age of 9, shower, shave, get dressed, insulin shots, meds etc... She was very sick sometimes, she also has several surgerys and I was the only one that could unpack,clean and repack her open wounds, they were massive in size. No one else in the family could do it... Guess it was in my blood to care for people.
    If your DD is ok with helping mommy, I see nothing wrong with her dressing you, etc...

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:57 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • try looking on craigslist under domestic in your area of living for a'' helping hand'.

    Answer by muffin400 at 9:57 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Your daughter would be a great person to help you, when she can, you have taken care of her throughout her life you need her now! Good Luck Momma and Get well soon!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • muffin400, I live in a very small town, population under 6000 with the nearest city of any size over 50 miles away. So that's out, and I don't think worker's comp will suddenly start covering it when I haven't needed it thus far. Medical care is so crappy here that I had to go to a place over 75 miles from here to get decent care! I was sure I'd just sprained my left arm when the accident happened, but I told my boss and City Manager that I was going to have this other city thoroughly check me over, which they thought was a good idea. It was this other city that discovered that my left arm was more than was cracked! Here, they x-rayed my right arm through the splint that the Army put me in (I work at our local small airport as a refueler, and Army was doing exercises here) and said they coudn't do anything til next week because of the swelling...without unwrapping my arm!

    Answer by rhope4 at 10:08 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Will check this when I get back from loading with Dh.

    Thanks for the advice, and I'd love to see a ton more replies.

    As far as this hospital here, I wouldn't take my dog up there...if I liked my dog that is!

    Answer by rhope4 at 10:10 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I see nothing wrong w/ your daughter stuffing your boobs into your bra. Your both female, she is 13, old enough to know a bit. But, most of all, your her mother & you need help. Your daughter should want to be able to help you, even if that means stuffing your boobs into a bra. I would not hesitate for one minute to ask my daughter for help, but i also know that she would not hesitate for one minute to help out her mother in need.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:40 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.