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Do you encourage your kids to be independent and do things for themselves?

Or do you just do things for them?
My 3yo got herself a cup of water earlier (not one of the kids' cups) and then proceeded to spill it all over the floor where she was sitting. Instead of crying, throwing a fit or just walking away she told me she spilled her water and demanded I go in the kitchen to get her a paper towel because she couldn't reach them. I gave her a rag instead and off she went to clean up the mess she made. I didn't ask her to or tell her to clean it up. She just did and she never once asked or expected me to clean it up for her (I did eventually help because she was having trouble and didn't think to ask for a 2nd rag after the first got soaked). She then found a kid cup and got herself some more water and is eating lunch. Win one for Mom.


Asked by justanotherjen at 12:32 PM on Aug. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 26 (28,174 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • yes I am rasing an adult not a child. of course it does take 18 years before they are considered an adult. But I want my kids to be able to face the world and do for themselves. I am here if they need me but if they don't great that means I am doing my job.
    I know a gal in her 30's her mother still calls her in the morning to be sure she is getting up on time for work......????? yep you read that right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I have my son put away his toys when he is done playing in the evening, I still think of him as a baby since he's MY baby so I tend to wipe up his spills, but thats a good reason why I should let him wipe up his messes too ! good job mommy!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:33 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • cool, I point for mom...awesome little girl you have and yes I encourage my son to do things for himself...

    Answer by Safirejewl at 12:34 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Oh yes, I have always tried to encourage my kids to be independant, i've worked very hard not to over shelter them and treat them like a china doll. That only hurts the child later in life

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:40 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I teach my children from little up to do things for themselves. I don't want a child that needs mommy to clean up his mess at 15... They will be taught to stand on their own!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:57 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • DEFINATELY!! Absolutely. DD makes a mess when she makes a sandwich but she cleans up after herself too. DS is 3 and though I don't let him spread the peanut butter, I do let him get himself water, a piece of fruit etc.

    Answer by Petie at 12:58 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • She can make her own PB&J if someone opens the jelly and peanut butter for her. She makes less mess then my 6yo, lol but she loves to be able to do things on her own so I let her.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 1:05 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Yes, my 3 year old gets his own water, cleans up messes, puts away dirty clothes and dishes and throws away trash. He has to learn sometime. It's nice to see him growing up.

    Answer by coutterhill at 1:22 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Ahhh, they're so precious at that age! But mom, hate to break it to you, but chances are that your endearing and adorable toddler will not last, so enjoy these moments while you can because, unfortunately, she'll be taken over by a .....TEENAGER.....Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!



    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • my 3 yr old could probably totally take care of herself if i let her. but then it'd be a disaster. she does clean up her own messes, usually with help if it involves food b/c she is still little and will miss stuff. i love it when she just goes and does it herself w/o being told, except the times that she makes a bigger mess trying to pick up the first one, than again at least she knows to clean it up.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:31 PM on Aug. 28, 2009