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help! I think my 3week old is ruining my relationship with my 3y/o

dd was born 8/6 and ever since ds has been shoved off on others. first because of the birth. I was induced so the night before he stayed at my mils house for 2 days. then last friday dd went to the hospital and stayed for 5 days. when we are home or driving ds gets real annoying and dd screams well I can't tell dd to stop so I end up telling ds to be quiet til dd stops screaming. I feel awful. now he's in his room (his choice) and I want to go in there but moving dd and her iv isn't fun! so I guess I ask what I can do... I did spend special time with just him last night. we went to the store. I left dd with dh. when I got back ds and I had a super soaker fight. but it seems like I'm always in a grumpy mood and take it out on him! what can I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Aug. 28, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (4)
  • Its only been 3 weeks....give it some time. I thought I'd totally traumatized my 4yo DS when i had my DD....she is 2yro now and he almost 7, and even tho they bicker and wrestle...they are normal brother and sister now (tho he still says he wants to give her back when he gets mad)...Your DS is feeling the angst fromhaving to shareyour attention...and tho its really hard...Its totally normal ...and a good and practical lesson for them to learn....and he will....just let yourself heal...take it easy and give it time! You have your perfect will all be great. Oh and give him extra love and qulity mom time when you can... Congrats!

    Answer by Suze42 at 1:37 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I agree with Suze.. once your 3yo gets used to having a baby around things will start to get easier. It's completely normal for you to be overstressed, expecially if your newest one is sick. The only thing I can think to do other than what she already suggested is to put the littlest one somewhere safe with a monitor and doing something with just the 3yo.. or getting him to help out with her. He wants to feel included, and helping out with the baby can be a great way to do so, even if he's just helping you sort through her laundry or bringing you diapers.

    Answer by kristal2146 at 1:50 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • i have the same issue, except my daughter is 2. she doesnt understand things like wait, mommy's busy or stuff like that. and now she yells and hits.
    i'm going nuts.
    hope everything gets better for you!

    Answer by MommaOfT21Girl at 4:06 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • One thing you can do is have him help take care of her, or be your special helper and bring you stuff that you need. That way he feels appriciated and gets to help take care of the baby.

    Answer by Jessie1689 at 5:16 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

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