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help! I think my 3week old is ruining my relationship with my 3y/o

dd was born 8/6 and ever since ds has been shoved off on others. first because of the birth. I was induced so the night before he stayed at my mils house for 2 days. then last friday dd went to the hospital and stayed for 5 days. when we are home or driving ds gets real annoying and dd screams well I can't tell dd to stop so I end up telling ds to be quiet til dd stops screaming. I feel awful. now he's in his room (his choice) and I want to go in there but moving dd and her iv isn't fun! so I guess I ask what I can do... I did spend special time with just him last night. we went to the store. I left dd with dh. when I got back ds and I had a super soaker fight. but it seems like I'm always in a grumpy mood and take it out on him! what can I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Aug. 28, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • Can you have your hubby watch your DD for an hour or so each day so you can have time just for DS? Or even 30 mins. Just as long as you and him have some time just you and him. And when you are changing DD maybe have him help by getting you a diaper or picking her clothes. Just to make him feel included.

    Answer by MizAnn at 1:34 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • its not his fault. and if he wants to scream b/c his sister is screaming let him every once in awhile. he only understands so much and the majority that he gets right now is that sister gets more attention than him. go into his room now, unless you're 3 week old needs you to stand over her, she'll be fine for 5 mins while you go sit and read a book or something with your son. its all in figuring out how to balance the two of them. its not as hard as you think it is, my son is 3 months and my daughter is 3 1/2 and we've found a good middle ground. the 3 wk old has to sleep while shes asleep spend that time w/your son, let the laundry and house wait til they are in bed.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:35 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Welcome to the craziness of 2 kids. Don't beat yourself up. It gets easier, especially as the little one gets older. Just keep up with that alone time, even if it's just 1/2 and hour to and hour a day with your 3y/o. And try not to take stuff out on him. If you feel like you are about to, step into another room, say, the bathroom and shut the door for even just 10 seconds and take a deep breath. Clear you head for a moment and then tell yourself it's gonna be better, cause it will be. Ask him what he'd like to do... read a book with mommy. play super soaker again. go for a walk, just you and him. or maybe go on a car ride and he gets to give you directions for like five minutes to see where you end up. (my kids have done this and thought it was hilarious) Anything, that tells him that he has your complete attention.

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 1:38 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • What you did last night was perfect. Try to do something like that daily.

    And when you start to feel grumpy, go into the bathroom or something and count to ten. In as many languages as you know. **grin**

    It will get easier!

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:47 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • ugg u guys r scaring me im due in april for my i would do what the other post have said they sound like good ideas...ive already talked to my hubby about doing alone time with my dd well he watches the baby and im taking one weekend a month to spend the whole day with dd doing what she wants...its a pain on my part since i'll haev to pump but to make sure both of y kids r happy will be worth it

    Answer by rainmommy at 10:46 AM on Aug. 29, 2009

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