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Am I wrong for being upset??

I have been with my SO for going on four years now. He works at Stater Bros. market and this week he was working from 3pm til 11pm. Last week he asked me if I wanted to go with him to T.G.I.Friday's with him and a few co-workers. I went, we had a good time, we came home. Last night, apparently, he went back to T.G.I.Friday's with the same group. I didn't get a call inviting me, no big deal, but I didn't get a text either saying where he was. Then, at 3:30 am I wake up to no SO next to me. I panic and call his cell phone. He says he is at his friend's house down the street, drinking. When he answered the phone I was relieved he was alive and ok. The thing that set me off was the fact that I didn't get a text or a call saying that he was going out after work. I really don't care if he goes out after work, I usually get updates if something is preventing him from coming straight home from work or if he is going out with friends.

Answer Question

Asked by RACERBABE02 at 1:29 PM on Aug. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (119 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Mutual respect for each other would state that it is only right to let the other know where you are and when you will be home. I just don't think it was very respectful for him to disappear and not let you know about it. Not saying he is doing anything wrong, but in my marriage, communication and respect are right at the top.

    Answer by TarLion at 1:31 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I would be upset too.I don't think you are asking too much from him to say "I'll be home late, we are going ----------."

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:33 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Are you sure he's "just" out with his "friends" ? You should investigate this situation more....


    Answer by katsogrimey at 1:38 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Yes, i would expect my husband to call me if he's going to be late, but then he's my husband and not my SO

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I would be upset too.
    There's no way my husband would be ok with me staying out all night without letting him know just like I wouldn't be ok with him doing the same thing.
    I agree with TarLion. Mutual respect is a key element in relationships.

    I don't think you need to start getting paranoid about him cheating just because he stayed out late with his friends and didn't call. If anything he'd be "extra" careful to call and tell you he is with friends. Unless he's stupid.
    No point in putting that kind of negative energy into your relationship.

    He screwed up. Let him know that you didn't appreciate it because it made you worry about his well being and that in the future could he at least just text to let you know he'll be really late. Just so you don't worry, and that you will do the same for him.

    Answer by Laila-May at 1:57 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I have gone through this, and the only thing I have ever asked for is that he lets me know what is going on. There is nothing worse than waking up at 1 am and not knowing where your SO is. It is the worse thing to wonder what is going on. If he is hurt or in jail. I hate that. You have every right to be upset. He kept telling me that he was sorry, but it kept happening. One day I left without saying a word. I took the kids out to eat and to the park. It was past dark when I got back, and he was worried. This taught him to let me know what his plans are, no matter how small they are. It is all about respect. I hope he wakes up and doesn't do this again.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 2:01 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • You need to nip it in the bud now that it is just starting or it will get worse he will be those types of guys that have to stop by the bar before coming home oh hell no not for me.

    Mine comes straight home from work...As far as you are not minding it right now you will soon mind it will get so old you are going to want out of the realationship girl you better do something now or for get it...GL


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Ok come on that is Shady!!! I would be looking into this and if it was truly innocent he needs to know it is unacceptable to worry you like that.

    Answer by baboosmom at 2:36 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

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