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do you think its rude to ask someone if there child is autistic?

in a very nice one on one situation?
I met a women at a park and it was ovious that her son had some mental disorder
and she was asked this. She answered that they didn't know what was wrong with him and shes tired of ppl asking.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Aug. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Kind of like asking a fat person if they are pregnant

    Answer by MACY7108 at 6:59 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • it depends on how the person is asked and why. if the person is asking cause they think there child may be then I see no harm- but that should be explained at that time

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Sorry, I think it is rude to ask. If a parent offers the information, then talk about it. Other wise why go out of your way to ask?

    Answer by mom-2-4boys at 7:16 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • That was rude and very inappropriate. If you two had gotten to know each other better, she would have offered that info when she wanted to.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 7:22 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I don't think op said she/op asked the mother the question, she was asked it by someone else?

    I think it's rude too. Whether or not a child has a disability, all kids every single kid misbehave a little bit and a ton of times and often as the most wrong times!!!! That person who asked was outright nasty!!!! What if his behavior was from an illness or accident, car?

    Bet the one who asked moved away from the mom. Too judgemental.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I wouldn't mind if people asked me. Then again, most cannot notice my son's or my autism. But many would probably find it rude.

    Answer by purpleducky at 7:55 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I think I would find it rude if you asked that question about a very mildly autistic kid.. they could just have behavioral issues and the mom would probably be embarassed. On the other hand, for the really obvious cases, I think it can open up a conversation with a mom who probably feels like noone understands her kids. Then again, I'm just the nanny for 2 autistic kids.. and 4 normal ones.. I'm not their mom but that's how I feel about people asking ME.

    Answer by kristal2146 at 8:28 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I have a son with autism. Truthfully, I'd rather have someone ask, than just give him dirty, disapproving looks for his behavior. Since a child with autism doesn't usually have any physical characheristics that convey they have autism...someone who recognizes the behavior is more than likely familiar with the traits of autism. I don't think the person who asked meant to be harmful. The mother of the child may have been defensive because it confirmed her fears.

    Answer by 2tallmom at 11:29 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I would rather have someone ask than deal with the judgmental looks you get from people who don't stop to think that maybe there's a reason for the way your child is acting. When you have a child who looks normal but acts different, a lot of people jump to the conclusion that your child IS normal and therefore their behavior must be your fault. But I can also see why a mom who has a kid with more obvious differences would get tired of people asking.

    Answer by jessradtke at 5:11 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

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