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How would you feel if you husband implied you needed to be on meds?

I am a calm person. I have had issues with anxiety in the past because of being abused. Well, I have been taking vitamins, especially B's for mood and I have been taking Sam-e as well. I take care of myself. I don't treat him badly or disrespect him. I had one break down this year because my friend and grandma died one month apart. It was rough for me. I have been fine though. The thing is when I get frustrated with him he accusses me of being crazy. He says I make the problems. He speaks for me, he does things behind my back, when I tell him I would like to do something(like get insurance on the car in my name) he goes behind my back and tries to put it in his name. I want some things in my name to build credit for myself. He seems to just go and blow and do what he wants when he wants. If I have a need that gets in his way he just goes around me. I have ASKED him to be considerate. He says he will and then doesnt. When I...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Aug. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • just look upset he says I am panicing or something and that I need to be on meds. He is just trying to manipulate me into believe that I have some problem or dillusion about the way things are. What would you do if you were me????
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Leave the controling jerk that is WRONG what he is doing to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Perhaps you could try counseling and ask him to go with you. Let a professional decide if he's being a prick, or if you truly are having more anxiety symptoms than you're really aware of.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 9:18 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Sounds like a pretty unhealthy relationship. You have no say and he has it all. Abusers don't always look like the burly 6ft tall beer gutted creep...sometimes the worst abusers destroy your self esteem a little at a time and never throw a punch. You mentioned you were a suvivor of abuse. Did you know survivors of abuse frequently get caught up in mentally and emotionally abusive relationships because deep inside they don't think they deserve better. You need to get some money socked away that he doesn't know about. You also need an exit plan. THEN you need to tell him this isn't how it is going to be anymore. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If you are afraid of him for any reason DO NOT confront him. Just leave.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • guys say that to lower your self esteem. They don't allow you to work on your credit bc they lose control of you if you gain independence. I'd laugh at him and just ask him if he had any he'd like to share. Don't take words like that personally. People have an agenda when they do that. Don't let yourself be a victim of his agenda (control). I use humor. My ex told me one time I was crazy and I responded by saying "crazy as a junebug...and yet you fell in love and married me so what does that say about you?" lol
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:50 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • It does kind of sound like you are panicking now.... first of all, ignore him. Take time to calm down, once in a while. Go for a walk..always a good way to let off steam
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:33 AM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • OP: Mumma28 that couldn't bre further from the truth. Perhaps you perceive me as coming off as panicked because that is a feeling you are familiar with and you are projecting that on to me because I describe having issues in the past with anxiety. I do not have issues with that now. I have been to counseling and I have been taking care of myself emotional ect. I simple do not want to be controlled by the man I am sharing my life with. See sharing says two lives coming together, Not me giving him my life or control over my life. I don't act all crazy or panicked in response to him. I calmly express my stance. He ignores it and does what he wants to do. He lives in his own world.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

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