Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

the only child? yay or nay?

this is a question formothers who have only children(one child) ormothers who plan to only have one child. i was so set on having two children.i already have one dd and shes 2 now. i really wanted to start tryingfor another but i babysit a 4 month old and its too much to handle! so now im thinking our family would be better by just hving us three. so ive heard the statement "ony children are very lonely" in your expirience is this true? i want my dd to grow up happy and not resent me later for not givingher a brother or sister.:( but i also think that its better for our marriage as well to only have her. well any input would be greatly appriciated;)


Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Aug. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Being an only child does not make you lonly. I was closer to my parents i am more mature then most people my age and i still had alot of friends. So i was never lonly. I was also able to do a bunch of things i would not have been able to do if i had a brother or sister. You have to do what is best for your family as a whole. Dont just think about your DD because if having another kid would be hard on your marrage then it would be better if you just stuck with the one you have. Good luck to you and hope this was able to help. But it would be best to talk to DH about it. Only you and him know what you guys can handle.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I have two step-child but we only have them for 4 weekss out of the year (they live far away) So My SO and I have my only child and his 3rd and YES she will be my only child. I think it's good and bad but she will be fine and so willn't your LO.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • My son is an only child and he is far from lonely. He is 13 and has plenty of friends and cousins to play with. He is in sports to socialize and school. He is my one and only child. If I had another one now, it would be like having 2 only children. I know plenty of only children that aren't lonely. Just keep them in sports or other activities and they will be just fine.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:34 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • We have an only child and he is 3 years old and far from lonely. My neighbors 16 year old son is an only child and openly admits he loves it and really is a great child -he will be attending Harvard for college.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 10:20 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • Only children in good homes are not lonely. They are usually more mature, do well in school, are more independent and really great kids. I have a son who is an only child. He is very social and has many friends. He likes being our only child and we love he is our only son.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • only children are not lonely. they are only lonely when they had a sibling and that sibling is no longer there... college, prison, death. i had a brother and he died when i was 16 and he was 20. now im an only child and lonely. but my friend victoria was born an only child and she never complained of being lonely and loved being the only one to be spoiled!

    Answer by honeybee429 at 10:51 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I don't think you really miss having sisters or brothers until you are grown. Friends are great but nothing like a brother or sister. But no. Only children are not lonely children. They get all the attention and never have to share mom/dad. And, there is no sibling rivalry. So, if you never have a brother or sister, you never miss having a brother or sister because you can't miss what you never had. You can only wonder what it would have been like. You should not have more kids for the kid only for yourself and your husband. What do you want?

    Answer by tweeta at 10:53 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I think it depends on your child and how you raise her.
    Right now my son is 3 and has been the only child (although we are having another baby soon and I hope it wont be too tough!!) He is fairly well behaved, shares with the kids in nursery at church, tries to be kind and helpful to other kids he plays with, etc (for the most part of course! he IS 3!)....He's not lonely or maladjusted.
    Contrast with a relative of mine-she is around the same age and an only child so far too... but she is very bossy, pushy, and moody around other kids. I don't know what causes it. Might be personality, or maybe because they don't spend as much time around other kids ...But I know plenty of other kids who are only children and they can be great. I think it just depends on how much you involve them with other kids. If they have a lot of good friends, they might not mind not having siblings too much.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • My son is an only and is now 16. He is an only child because his birthfather and I split up soon after he was born and my DH cannot have children due to a childhood accident. There have been times that I felt guilty that he is an only child, but I think that was becuase DH and I really wanted more children but couldn't. DS is very into hockey which he would not be able to be so involved if he was not an only. He has lots of friends so he is not lonley and I agree with pp's that onlies are usually more mature and closer to their parents.
    You have to decide what is right for you. When DS was younger we really wanted another baby, now we wouldn't have it any other way. For some families 1 is the perfect number, for others it's more.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 11:20 PM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • I don't want more children because I want to give my daughter the best quality of life possible. I don't want her to grow up having to go without because I had to provide not only for her but one (or more) other children. With one child, I can save enough money to make sure she has school clothes and supplies each year. She can participate in those expensive extracurricular programs. She can possibly have a car when she turns 16. She can have a college fund. I think about those things, and it makes me happy that I only have one child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Aug. 28, 2009