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What Do You Do When You and Your Husband/Fiance/Boyfriend Fight?

Me and my boyfriend have been fighting alot and he is very attached to my 4 month old daughter. He has basically been her father since day one even though he didnt help create her. We have nearly broken up 3 times since we've been together but we tend not to end it for my daughter. She is very attached to him. I got with him when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant and he's been there ever since. I just don't know if maybe we should just end it and I walk away or stay an try to fix what we have. We both lov each other dearly, but sometimes you need more than love to make it work. I tend to not trust him and I know many relationships need trust to make it work. I'm just looking for some advice.....

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Mama2Dallas

Asked by Mama2Dallas at 9:45 AM on Aug. 29, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • Counseling is what comes to mind. It would help you both sort out what you want and whether the relationship is ever going to work.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:57 AM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Well, it's not many relationships that need trust...they all do. With that said, if you don't trust him, you need to look at why. If it's b/c of something he says or does, then maybe it is best to end it, b/c without trust, it won't work, it'll continue like this. If it's b/c of what someone in your past did, then you need to find a way to get past it and trust him, even if you need to consider counseling.

    To answer the original question of what do I do when we fight, we both get frustrated, but we do tend to try to talk it out. And I do mean talk. We try not to yell at each other, curse at each other, walk away from each other. We will walk away if we are too angry to talk calmly, but we always come back to it a bit later, when we are calmer. We try very hard to keep things calm b/c we both have been in bad relationships where the fights were screaming, go on forever, horrible events and we both really hate that.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:59 AM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I left my daughter's father when she was 4 1/2 months. We divorced when she was 10 months. Though he's her bio dad...her daddy is my husband (her step father). My point is that I was not going to stay with her father and subject her to a bad life just because he loved her.

    Life works out how it's supposed to. I'm so glad I didn't stay with him for my little girl. My husband is the father I always wanted for her. Though I always want her bio dad to see her...he just can't seem to get it together. Maybe one day.

    When my husbie and I fight. We usually make up after a while and then it's weird for a few hours. We have a little disagreement about once every 10 days. Those are simple though.
    patchoulimom

    Answer by patchoulimom at 10:39 AM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I think it sounds that is better to brake up. Very important he can stay as a friend and daddy if you two do it the right way.
    Your little girl will grow and leave. Than What?
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:00 AM on Aug. 29, 2009

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