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Is there anything you can do/say to convince someone to leave an abusive relationship?

I have a family member who is in an abusive relationship. She is currently pregnant with his child (first trimester). She recognizes that it's abusive, but thinks it will get better (or at the very least, that it won't get worse). If you've ever been in an abusive relationship, was there something that someone said or did that pushed you to finally leave?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Aug. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I've never been in an abusive relationship but just ask her to think of her unborn child. If he is abusive to her now he will only continue and may end up being abusive to the child or hurting her while shes pregnant causing her to lose the baby. You need to give her the worst case scenrios to have her realize that she must get out for her child's sake. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • from personal experience no.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I haven't been in an abusive relationship but my best friend (since 8th grade) has and is in one...she has two kids with the loser and has several abortions....and for the last five years i have tried everything to convince her to leave him and she has...but somehow she always ends up right back with him...i even stopped talking to her for about 9 months because the stress was too much for my family i was to involved in trying to save someone who didn't liked to be saved....I am talking to her now but our relationship is strained....when she is with him i keep my mouth shut (we don't hang out, and i don't support her decesion) whenever she leaves him i encourage her and help her out as much as i can $, with babysitting, and giving her clothes for her girls...but it never lasts she always goes back...he does drugs, alcohol, goes to jail, and abuses her physcially and mentally. giver her support, but u can only do so much.

    Answer by abbyg at 4:55 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I've been in one but no one could convince me to leave. It's something a woman has to decide for herself. We never like thinking we failed at something so we hang in there hoping things will get better but they don't. They only escalate and get worse. After children come into it we have to protect ourselves and the children so it's harder on us. If she knows it is abuse just ask her how much is enough? Ask her what he has to do to make her leave? She has to set a limit. Is hitting her something she's willing to take? Is breaking bones ok? Pushing her down and hurting the unborn baby enough to make her leave? Hitting her baby after its born? Tell her to keep in mind he may not kill her body but he'll damage her spirit so badly that she won't recognize herself so to be ready to set that limit. Does she want the child growing up thinking it's normal? I tell abused women to make a plan to get out. Hide money and plan in case.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:57 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Trust me it does not get better he gets angrier and angrier.My husband is a real asshole and is verbally abusive and I hate him to death.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I was and here are a couple things that helped me. My family never turned their back on me but they would always remind me about my baby and how I need to protect it. That always stuck with me up to the day he shoved me against the closet door and I made him leave. We were still together and still talking until he got himself a new gf and broke up with me. After that, I fought to stay strong and did not take him back no matter how much he begged. With everyones support and honesty... I got out of it for good.

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 5:47 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I was in an abusive relationship and nothing that anyone said convinced me to leave. I had everyone trying to console me and confort me but nothing got to me. What finally got to me was a trip to a pshyc ward for trying to kill myself. I realized then that if I didn't get out of the marriage I would eventually kill myself. I left and NEVER looked back. All I knew was abuse and I knew that if I didn't break the cycle that that was all my son would know also. Best choice I EVER made

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:28 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Absolutely nothing anybody said to me made me leave. I just woke up one day ready to leave. However, if somebody had said to me that they would provide a home for me I probably would have left a lot sooner. But I did it all the hard way with a baby and a toddler, on my own.

    Answer by Blueloveaura at 7:13 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Since she thinks it will get better she isn't about to leave now.
    She isn't ready. It usually take a good busting up. He may hit her in the stomach or hurt her so bad the baby could be hurt. I hope it doesn't come to that. Now that she is pregnant she has a responsibility to protect that baby. I hope she wises up before something bad happens.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 7:31 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • There is nothing any one can do to make her WANT to leave. As a friend/family member just let her know you are there to help when SHE is ready.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

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