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18 mth old with a bad temper...help??

My son is 18mths old. He is a very sweet and loving child but sometimes when he gets mad or doesn't get his way his hits. He will also scream and pull his own hair. I know that they don't always know how to deal with their frustration. I'm to the point where it's hard for me to handle mine! I have tried time out...he thinks its a game. Spankings obviously don't work. Ignoring him doesn't work either. This isn't an everyday thing and like I said most of the time he is a very good kid. Any suggestions?

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rlhall1980

Asked by rlhall1980 at 5:37 PM on Aug. 29, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 7 (161 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Ignore him!!!! don't even look at him when he throws a fit it will work!
    newmama008

    Answer by newmama008 at 5:38 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • you just have to be consistant....if you give him a timeout one time and then ignore him the next then of course ignoring him isnt going to work...hes going to keep trying until he gets that attention..but as soon as he learns he wont get it he'll quit
    newmama008

    Answer by newmama008 at 5:39 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • It's usually just a phase. Try to leave the room when he gets mad and just walk away, I know you said ignoring doesn't work, but after a few times of doing it he may realize that he is not getting the attention that he is after. Another thing to try is to talk quietly to him when you are bent down in front of him, he will have to quiet down to hear what you are saying and sometimes that can work too. I know it's frustrating, I am dealing with my 2 year old DD doing this frequently as well. GL Momma!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • My second born had a temper and I could see it when he was just 6 months old. He pulled his hair all the time too! I started at 6 months telling him, NO and telling him he needed to calm down. It's not right to scream when we are angry. Stuff like that. By 18 months he definetly understood what I meant when he started to get angry. He is now 2 1/2 and generally doesn't throw a big fit. It may take longer since your son is older, but let him know now that is not allowed and will not be allowed.
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 5:49 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I'm reading a book on tantrums and I've tried the technique on DD and its been great! Right when they get upset, you acknowledge their feelings by saying something like "You are soo mad right now. I know you're angry and want a snack." and just say empathetic things sincerely until they're listening (its fast). Its called mirroring their feelings and it allows them to express their feelings through you without acting out. Once they're listening (dd does in a matter of seconds-and she is a STRONG willed child) you tell them how it is like its too rainy to go out and move on. And if you give them lots of praise during, they seem to react better to bad news. DH is just firm with her (no, you can't have your sippy) or tries to distract her, and now she just comes to me with problems so I think it really helps. Its been two days and she is so much happier and even is napping now! Try it a couple times and I bet it helps.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 8:06 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • My son does the same thing and hes 19 months. Just gotta be consitant. Time out...he runs out of time out...put him back and set the timer again. keep doing it til he sits there. Then take him out and explain to him why its bad to hit and what I do if he hit me...I make him give me a kiss on my owwie.
    MaNDaLoVEe

    Answer by MaNDaLoVEe at 8:25 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Try to redirect or distract him. If that fails, ignore him. If he hits, give him a warning. If he fails to heed the warning, give a consequence. My son has terrible temper. We try to redirect him or get his mind off what he wants. If no luck... we ignore him. So he knows he won't get any attention behaving in a negative manner. He hits me. I will give him a warning. If he hits me again, I put him in time-out for a minute. (I put him in a corner in his bedroom and shut the door for a minute.) Oftentimes he will hit, then kiss to make up. Then immediatly after, he hits again and offers another kiss, so that no longer is acceptable. I also take other things in consideration: how is he feeling? Is he teething? Is he sick? Has he had an adequate nap? Is he over-stimulated or bored? Hungry? Those needs can alter an behavior for the better once they are met.
    ShadesofGrey

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 11:57 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

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