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i feel worried for my 21 mnths old precious son.

my son is a very peaceful,yet active toddler.he does not defend himself while other toddlers beat him,he only run away in fear.children of all ages easily take toys away from his hand,leaving him crying.he is a very loving,obedient n intelligent toddler.but i want him to be able to face this merciless world n protect himself from selfish n mean people.

my husband(intelligent n hard working engineer) have the same nature,extremely loving,helping n kind to everyone.n he is always kicked by people in his office n family,n everywhere.

i don't want my son to have such terrible life.


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Aug. 29, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (7)
  • Embrace his gift at being a pacifist, gentle being! Keep your bond strong with him so that he knows that no matter what Momma will always be a safe place to go, and encourage him to use words to communicate his needs and feelings.
    It's a great gift to have a Crystal child, or a peacekeeper in the family. Nurture him, and give him the tools he needs to face the rough world. That's all that can be done.

    Answer by BearlyXen at 6:42 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • well your husband is a grownup and that is his personality. my grown son is like that. your beautiful son is still pretty little. I have three kids one a teen and two in their twenties, a son and two daughters.

    i'd show your son that he is allowed to continue playing with toys HE has when other kids want it. Tell children when he's in a groups that every child's toy is their's until a grownup says switch toys.
    Another way i if a child has their own privatelyowned toy with other kids, make it known THAT toy NOT a switchable toy.

    You can't force your kids personalities but you can reinforce selfesteem and being polite while growing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • He is only 21 months. Don't worry. He has plenty of time to learn social skills.

    Have you shared your feelings with your husband? Do you really think he has a terrible life? I am very gentle and kind and raised my 3 sons to be that way. They are now 29, 26, and 21. I only hear people say nice things about them and we think it is the way life should be. We go out of our way to be helpful to other people and animals.

    Go to google and type in Elizabeth Crary. One of her first books was Without Spanking or Spoiling and it shaped my mothering skills. She has written many books since 1981 and has started something called Star Parenting. I think you can raise peaceful children that also have good social skills (don't get kicked around).

    Answer by GailllAZ at 6:43 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I know what you're talking about- I was a very insightful kid and would always ask my mom why the other kids were so mean (typical playground roughness). It was just beyond my understanding why people would push and be rude and I was intimidated as well. I definitely got taken advantage of in life for not having the skills to stand up for myself. My mom never taught me that while its wrong to be rude, its rude for people to push you into things and you have to stand up for what you know is right. The best I can suggest is teach by example and get your husband on board. He's the model from which your son will learn how to act as a man. Even if its not who he naturally is, its important that in front of his son, he teach him how to politely stand up for himself when he is older. For now, there is nothing wrong with stepping in for your son and showing him how to handle the situation. He'll learn more than you realize!

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 7:42 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Wait a few months. Ours was the same way at 21 months, but 4-5 months later became the aggressor, then you have to "calm" him down again. It's developmental, babies are easy going, toddlers are territorial. He just hasn't gotten there yet, but don't worry about him always being pushed around. Defend your child from the older ones until he realizes that he can do it himself. It will come, just wait.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 8:40 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • My daughter was like that... actually up until today. She got so frustrated with other kids hitting and pushing and taking toys from her she punched one of them! She's 21 mos too!!! She was constantly being hit, pushed and everything that today and turned around and hit the girl back! then the girl started really hitting her and my dd just kept yelling NO NO NO and hitting back as well. Give him some time, I'm sure he'll get up there at some point! I always told dd it wasn't ok that kids did that to her (yes, I'm passive and shy and such... didn't want my daughter to be as passive as me)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • He'll be fine! Chill....

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

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