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Should I invite him to be in the delivery room?

Ok, so my ex left me about 4 months ago. Really just disappeared. Stopped calling and coming around. Before this we were best friends and he was very involved in my pregnancy. He left 5 days after finding out it was a boy. 2 weeks ago he called out of the blue and apologized and said we needed to get together and talk about how we are going to do this. Well, I have always had my mind set that when I know for sure the baby is coming (I have had 2 close calls) I would call him and tell him I hope he will be there. I don't even know if he will come. After getting a taste of strong contractions I know how uncomfortable I will be. Would having him there just stress me out? I'm just worried about the tension. My mom will be there with me and if not him my best friend. Should I invite him? (I might regret it if I don't) Atleast give him the options to see his son come into this world? What would you do?

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Asked by Maya09 at 7:18 PM on Aug. 29, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (7)
  • I would allow him to see his son at the hospital but not in the delivery room. He doesnt deserve to see his son come into this world.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • When we did talk I feel like he was just playing with my emotions. Making me think there was a chance of us getting back together just to find out he has a new girlfriend and it hurts but I think it will just be better to keep my distance since I have gotten over him a great deal. But on the other hand I would LOVE to be friends and have a good relationship w/ him for the sake of our son. I really want him to be a part of his life. I never doubted before having him there until now. Should I still give him the option to be a part of this and witness the birth of his son?
    (It's his 5th child)

    Answer by Maya09 at 7:22 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • If you had a feeling he was just playing with you I'd go with the feeling and do what the Previous poster said. Invite him to be at the hosp but not in the room

    Answer by firethearson at 7:27 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I agree with anon. Let him see him in the hospital but not the birth. He left you when you needed him most for no reason. And if this is his 5th child then he has probably witnessed a birth before. Let him see what the consequences of his actions are and what happens when you just leave your pregnant girlfriend for another

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Stress can actually stop labor. You could end up having to have a C-section. It's not worth the risk. Call him after the baby is born and invite him to come and if he is good he can stay as long as he wants.

    My husband and I separated while I was pregnant. He had hit me with a closet door he ripped off and I almost lost the baby at 6 months. His lawyer tried to say my husband had to be there for the birth. He was bipolar, wouldn't take his meds, and said he wanted to kill me and the baby!!! The lawyer called my doctor and told her she had to call my husband and tell him when I was in labor.
    NO WAY!!!

    I called him a few hours after the birth. He didn't stay long. I never saw him again except in court. My son is now 21.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 7:29 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • wow. Thanks. I think that's what I will do. I don't need the stress at such a wonderful time in my life!

    Answer by Maya09 at 7:36 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I would get a doula and have him meet with her during your prenatal appointments. It *might* be sort of like private birth class~ a really great opportunity to see how he is really doing with this birth stuff... It might give him a chance to step up & ask his questions and get prepared to help you & to be "present."
    You can give him the chance to step up prior to birth,see how serious he really is.

    Answer by doulala at 8:31 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

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