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help with the birthing plan...?

Ok I am having my second baby, and my family will be really hurt if I dont let them watch this birth (they watched my DD's birth) and I have no problems with any of them being in there BUT when my son is born I want at least 20 mins of just me, my husband, my DD and my DS. How can I tell them this without hurting their feelings? I dont just want to say ok he is here...leave now! So what should I do? Will the nurses kick them all out after wards if I ask? And do you think this is rude to ask for this time?

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Mikayla_lynn

Asked by Mikayla_lynn at 7:51 PM on Aug. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,452 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • set a special moment, like when he's weighed.... so they know their exit cue.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 7:54 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I'd have "Aunt Mary" or whomever yell the weight out to you, snap a picture on the scale, and then DH or nurse can assure them they'll be retrieved from the waiting room after you've cleaned up, toileted, and held your baby
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 7:55 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Absolutely not rude!! Let your nurse know ahead of time and she will make sure they all leave. Jsut be clear with your nurse. Ours have always told us if we don't want someone there, just tell them, and they will be the ones to kick them out! No stress for you!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 7:56 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • So birth plan would be like:

    Extended family will be leaving delivery room just after baby is APGAR'd and weighed. Nurse please feel free to call them back in 30 minutes later and be aware they might need a gentle reminder of this request!
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 7:57 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • It's not rude and the nurses will do it if you ask them to. You might want to warn the ones you think might be the most hurt like the grandmothers.

    When my grandson was born I wasn't sure how much she would let me in the room. I tried to be as invisible as possible but helpful when needed. It turned out there was some complications and I was able to stay with the baby while they had to do some procedures on her. I was so glad I was there.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 7:57 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • It is not rude at all. If your family cares about you, they will understand your need to have some private time, whether it's your first baby or your sixth baby! :-) You just need to tell them that they will have time with you and the new baby. A time that you feel is appropriate. They should be able to understand and respect that.
    sweetmoonem

    Answer by sweetmoonem at 8:10 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • not rude at all! In fact, just be straight with them. Tell them you loved having them there but hope to have a special family moment after the birth. Be specific in what you want and get a nurse to help enforce it. I regret not shooing everyone out...or rather banning phones! DH was texting his freaking college buddies within minutes of the birth and I felt so stressed and a little abandoned. Next time, we're keeping the moment to us for a little while.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 8:33 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Not rude at all, I like how hibbingmom worded it for you. I just had baby #3. The delivery didn't go as smoothly as my other two so we didn't bother calling anyone until after the baby made her appearance. (We usually call when I start pushing so by the time the baby got here everyone was waiting) It was so nice to not be crowded by everyone and DH and I just had our time with our little girl for awhile before everyone showed up. It was wonderful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • if they cant understand that you ad your hubby want to be with your children alone then i wouldnt let tem watch the birth.....just be honest....let them kow it is noting against them you just wanna bond as a FAMILY....as i you your hubby and kids.....they should understand
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 11:48 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I wanted my older child to have some time to get to know her baby sister after delivery. I didn't want anyone in t here with me but my hubby during the delivery and as soon as I was stitched up, the family came in with my daughter and we let her spend several minutes oogling the baby and making sure she felt just as loved as the new baby.
    I'd tell the family ahead of time what your plan is, and tell the nurses too so that everyone's clear that even tho they're going to be leaving the room, that they can come back in half an hour or an hour, so they can all head to grab something to eat, drink some coffee or something while you're doing the family bonding thing :)
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:49 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

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