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Step Daughter

I was planning a really good day with my step-daughter toady. I was taking her back to school shopping, to a movie, get our nails done and do a nice lunch. She informed me that she was not with me to spend time with me, but to only by clothes. So I took her shopping and came straight back home. Her real mother passed away 5 years ago and I am really trying to do the right thing. What would you have done?


Asked by ayers65 at 8:35 PM on Aug. 29, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (14)
  • Honestly I would have gone ahead and went to lunch and got her nails done. You have to understand that she still hurts and has feelings and may be very scared to let anybody else in due to the fact that nobody can replace her mother and she may be afraid that she will forget her mother! You need to make it clear that you are not her mother and can not ever take her place and maby she will let you in! I have a step DD that lives so I kinda know what you are going through but her mom is not deceased but has nothing to really do with her! It will be hard but things will fall in place! Explain that you are not her mom but you are a parent figure to her and if she ever needs anything that she can come to you! Good luck hon just dont give up on her. I could not imagine losing my mother!


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • shes probably just angry about the fact that her mother is dead and whatever other problems she has going on in life, and shes growing up - shes at a tough age so she might just be taking her anger out on you and whoever else. she might be different when she grows up a little bit though, yano? keep trying to do the right thing.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:38 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I would have told her here's your clothes and I had a nice day wish we could have done what i had planned but, you wanted to be a selfish little bitch. Know go to your room and I will let you know when you can come out for dinner. Then she can eat and go right back to her room and goodnight. I would also have her father have a little chat with her about the way she has been a VERY DISRESPECTFUL young lady.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • ya i agree with purple...shes at a hard age..shes frustrated and probly mad...but like she said you are doing the right thing...

    Answer by nana77500 at 8:42 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I would have done what you did. Given her clothes to her and taken her home. Then I would have gone back out for lunch and nails.... Just to show her what she could have had. You can't treat her different than you would your own kids or she will expect it...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • It's sad but she shouldn't treat you that way or be selfish. Sounds like she was taking advantage because of her mothers passing. I would have done nothing after she said that. 13-17 is enough to know better and they know how to play on people emotions.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Ok anon 50 do you feel better? I have two step-children and 2 children of my own and one of my childs father is died and he is angry and has bad days but he doesn't disrespect adults EVER. So really I do know what this women is going thru right now on both sides. So now that you did'nt like my comments I see you had nothing to say to this women that is asking for advise and found the need to get your undies in a bunch over what I had to say. I really hope you have a great night :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Don't listen to anon 41!!!! I think that you stepping in and trying to put her life together is very honorable. I think that you do need to tell her that you are not her mohter, not trying to take her place, you lolve her and will always be ther for her. I can only try to see how you feel. Love her and be the great person that you are trying to be. She wlll come around and get her dad to support you!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • I agree with anon 8:44. and maybe have a talk with her about that your not trying to take her mothers place but that you will always be here if she needs to talk. You are doing the right thing.

    Answer by raemommy at 9:11 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • i would have asked her (after the shopping was over) would she like to go get some lunch (or ONE of the other things) and if she didn't, just took her home and went back out to do whatever.

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 9:32 PM on Aug. 29, 2009