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My 5 1/2 year old daughter has these massive tantrums like a 2 year old. Could there me something medically wrong with her?

I don't knw what to do any more. She had another one tonight and it lasted almost an hour before she was calmed down. She is socially immature for her age and I just don't know if I'm a bad parent or if there is something medically wrong with her. Help! I don't know what to do.

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Asked by gillymom at 9:45 PM on Aug. 29, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (10)
  • It is definately a phase my daughter was the same way she is still a drama queen I have just learned to ignore her (making sure she is ok as far as fed, bathed, comfortable etc . If you feel in your heart she is ok and she is just upset bc she is not getting her way...go to the next room and she will wonder hmm...where is mommy? She'll either calm down or she will go look for you. Just alittle bit longer she will grow out of it just hang in there. My daughter is 6 yrs. old and someitmes she has her moments and I tell her mommy is not going to listen to you if you don't act like a big girl and she'll say ok...boohoo I'll b a good girl and then we're both fine. GLwearing crownThis is my drama queen right let's see how long that


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:01 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • No you're not a bad parent. Spanking works. Start spanking your kid and see if that gets their attention, it may sound mean and old fashioned but it will get results. She needs to know that you're not gonna let her cry for house and scream like that. Her behavior is just NOT OK. I hoope you get it taken care of before she gets further into school. Try spanking or taking toys a way or time out or something. Then if that doesn't work then yeah seek a doctor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • What's it like after? Does she understand how out of proportion with what set her off it is, or not? How is she about other sensory-related things, like fabrics and textures and being touched/touching things? And her interactions with other kids? Because, yes, it could be autism. Autism in girls can be very different than autism in boys. I say this not because it's "trendy" and everyone and their uncle's stepcat is being diagnosed these days, but because I have it, and it was undiagnosed for most of my life, and those decades were hell on earth. Search for specific information on autism in girls and look it over to see how much, if anything, you daughter lines up with the symptoms. If it is, and you know, that's major. You can help learn to cope with things, and the earlier you know, the better for her. If nothing else, it's ruled out, and you know that, too.

    Answer by roachiesmom at 10:04 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • that just means your child is SPOILED ROTTEN!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Skip the spanking, it doesn't solve or fix everything. Instead, have her evaluated by her doctor or get a referral to a behavior specialist. Instead of spanking, IGNORE her tantrums, she could be doing them for attention. How does she act otherwise? You said she is socially immature, there could be something else going on then. I highly suggest NOT spanking, especially if it turns out there is something not right. You can ask the school counselor or special ed teacher for ideas or places to get her evaluated. The school should be able to set up the evaluations too. I wish you the best of luck.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:29 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • My child is NOT spoiled rotten and I will not spank my child. She does have sensory issues and I don't know if that make her tantrums more extreme. She can be set off by little things. My daughter is adopted and I know that there is mental illnesses in her biological family history. She's a smart and creative girl who can be a huge sweetheart it's just when she goes into these tantrums it's as if someone was kidnapping her, as far as her screams go, she's ristarical, I try to hold her and she says I'm hurting her when I'm barely touching her, like she doens't want to be touched. Her ranting during the tantrum doesn't make any sense. I feel in my heart there is something wrong with her but I don't want to jump to conclusions or look stupid to the doctor.

    Answer by gillymom at 10:43 PM on Aug. 29, 2009

  • Then she sounds a lot like me. (And I assure you, if that's the case, you can't spank it out of her. I mean, I saw where you weren't planning to, just saying it can't be done.) Check out this group  We don't get too much action, but there are posts you can check out and compare it to your daughter.  It really wouldn't hurt ot look into it, for her sake.  If nothing else, you can find find resources and tips to help her cope with her sensory issues, to cope with them and to get around some of them, if not over them.  Sensory issues are sensory issues, no matter the root cause, and you can at least find help for that. 


    Answer by roachiesmom at 12:21 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • This may help too -- and there are links in the comments. This video is how I was able to find out what was wrong with me.

    Those meltdowns are frustration and and an inability to fully communicate what's going on inside her and/or why what it's about matters so very much in the moment.  It's very overwhelming and confusing for her, too.  I still have them.  And it's like some little part of me is in my head watching the whole thing thinking "WHAT are you DOING?"  But it's like it's on a locked course, and until it burns out, it just doens't stop. 

    Good luck.  Oh...I was adopted, too.



    Answer by roachiesmom at 12:30 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • My daughter had these same issues. She had high sensitivity to sounds, light, temperature. She would absorb her surroundings and become overstimulated. She would scream and spit and run and hide in the bathroom or under a blanket. She would do this more if I went after her and tried to soothe her. What I did was get some kid books about emotions for us to read together. We would draw pictures of how we were feeling that day. It turned out it was that she just had such a sensitivity to her surroundings and had a hard time expressing it. After a while of doing that I talked to her about slowing down when she felt angry. We implemented When she learned to count I told her to slowly count to ten. And if she needed to talk to me I would be there. Before she was able to count we had feeling faces up on the fridge and she could point to how she felt so we could gradually get to the bottom of it. She is a different..

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 12:42 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • kid now. She still has her moments but huge improvement. If you are concerned that your child may have more going on getting her evaluated would be wise and then going from there.

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 12:43 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

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