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What's your relationship like with YOUR mother?

My mom and I were close growing up, she was a single mom and we had a lot of time just the two of us. When she met my stepdad things got rocky between us but then we were good again until I started dating. Now that I've gotten pregnant at 18 and will possibly be getting married, she has threatened to "sever her ties" with me completely and kick me out of the house. It's funny because until the marriage thing is brought up...we are fine, we go out to eat together, go shopping, talk, joke, etc. but then as soon as something about me getting married is mentioned she blows up.

What's your relationship like with your mom? Good, bad, rocky? Did your mom ever threaten to disown you? what for? did she really?

Answer Question
 
javila

Asked by javila at 12:46 AM on Aug. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • It's a control thing. Mom's like to do that especially if they think dd is doing something that she thinks is really wrong. Does she dislike your df? I only threatened to disown my oldest dd once and that was when she was doing something I thought could lead to something really bad. I was very lucky she listened to me. Sometimes we need to listen to mom but in this case I'd at least ask her why? I would tell her I want to make a good decision and want her feedback but need to know what she's basing her threat on. Show her you want to be responsible and will listen but in the end the decision is your's. It's possible she knows the pitfalls of a marriage not based on the right reasons. In the minds of many, getting married just bc you are pregnant is not always a good reason. Not butting into your business but I did that and it was SO wrong!!!!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:55 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • My mom and I are really close, not ever in my life did she make me feel that she didn't love me, she lives for her kids, I love my mommy and I hope she lives forever.
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:55 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • have you asked your mother why the thought of you getting married upsets her so much? If not you should and if she hasn't said why, keep asking until she does.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:55 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • My dad passed away when I was 12 and my mom and I became SUPER close. Through my teenage years, I made some stupid choices (drinking and doing drugs). She met my step dad when I was 16 and she got pregnant. Things fell apart after he was in the picture. Now I'm 26 and we barely ever talk..and that's her choice. I e-mail, text and call her and 90% of the time, get no response. I hate it. I love my mother and it breaks my heart that she let this dumbass guy come between us. I'm sorry for your situation. I hope things work out
    CrystalJanie

    Answer by CrystalJanie at 12:56 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Yes, I have asked her. She says I won't go to college if I get married. But I will, I'm applying for tons of scholarships, I'm hell bent on going and my DF will support me as well...he will do anything he possibly can to ensure I get to go to college. She also thinks that I'm too young and that it will end in disaster, because that's what happened to her.

    I want to marry him because I love him and I care for him. It's not solely because we have a child together but that is a factor. He is going to be a great father, and my daughter deserves the chance to have a father...I didn't have a father figure until my mom met my step dad and it wasn't until I was about 17 that my step dad and I developed a real father-daughter relationship. I don't want that for my daughter. And I want to be with him...we've been together a long time and he's always done good for me. He's such a sweetheart, can't imagine being without him.
    javila

    Answer by javila at 1:03 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • My mom and me are OKAY. not great not bad. We just have our days where we clash. She had me at 15 so I feel like we're more like sisters so we bicker like siblings as well, its annoying but she's my mom.

    My mom stopped taking care of me at 16, when I moved out, I kept health insurance though. From the time I was 14 and worked I became very independent, bought my own food, paid my own copays for the hospital bills, only stayed at my house like 2 times a week, I always stayed with older friends who had their own place, I was very independent and rather make my own money then go thru the battle of begging for even basics.

    I resented her for a while but we cant go back and change it and she's doing her best to be a great grandma.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 1:10 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • me and my momaregreat...she is the best....if i can be half the mom she i then ill be a great mom.....shes always been there for me and shes known everyhing thats happened in my life(losing virginity, getting preggo...ect) she is amazing...now my dad, at least once a week he threatens to disown me( he says wash hs hands of me) but yeah....i love my mommy
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 1:34 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • It does sound like your mother has issues....understandable since it was all about the two of you for so long.... My mother was a bit over-involved and didn't understand the meaning of the word "boundaries" but I sort of accomdated that and we got along for the most part, despite some struggles with her over-involvement in my life. She loved me and you can't replace your mother, so I think it is good to work it out when you can.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 11:21 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • My mom and I were not very close when I was growing up because she and my dad had me live with my aunt they had 4 other kids and finances were tight because my dad became disable just before I was born (while my mom was preggers) and they were not able to support all of us on my mom's paycheck, when I was about 12 my parents had me move back in with them because they could take care of me and I was getting into alot of trouble at my aunts, My momma and I still didnt see eye to eye. But I became pregnant at 15 with my oldest son and she stood by me never made me feel bad for my choice to keep and try to raise my son and supported me emotionally. Now that I am a adult with a family of my own (the same size my own mother had) I can see what she has done for me and why she made the hard choices she made as far as having me live and be raised somewhere else, she wanted the best life for me I could have one she couldnt give me.

    JennieHudson510

    Answer by JennieHudson510 at 11:51 AM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • I cut her out of my life 3 years ago.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:28 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

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