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Would you ever get a job to pay someone elses bills? (MIL)

I am a stay at home mom and with school starting in the next week my dh mentioned to me that he thinks I should get a job to help pay for his mothers bills. Basically go to work and give my income away! My MIL is capable of getting a small job on her own. I see older people at Wal-mart or fast food places all the time. No major thinking or labor intensive jobs. She does not want to. It is being presented to me as though it is almost required or my obligation for me to take care of her. I am a bit annoyed, actually alot annoyed. Any suggestions? I have brought up her helping herself until I am blue in the face with no luck and it just starts another round of arguing about his mother. BTW my dh has talked about getting a weekend job to give her money. This would make 3 jobs for him! He would never have family time.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Aug. 30, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • NO I would not. Tell mil to fix her own financial problems. Sell her house and get a cheaper place, cut up her credit cards and call to get a lower rate on them while paying them off, learn to budget. I just gave away my car to get out from under insurance premiums. I've had to start riding a bus or walking where I want to go. She can figure it out but she won't if your dh keeps enabling her. She's not a baby that needs to be taken care of. If he continues to do all these things for her then tell him I want him to adopt me.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:39 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Heck No!

    Answer by mominbolt at 12:23 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • I completely agree with you, but it sounds like your dh isn't willing to listen to you or compromise. I personally would refuse to get a job to pay your MIL's way. I would tell my dh that if he wants to care for his mother, he can get himself yet another job and use ONLY the money from that job for his mom. I would tell him that he is NOT to touch a single penny from your bank account or from any of his other 2 jobs. His mom needs to care for herself.


    Answer by Wifey2Watson at 12:25 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • No way. She is not your responsibility. You should only work if you want to and/ or need to for your own family.

    Answer by jackdaw at 1:21 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • I wouldn't do it unless she was unable to care for herself. Some poeple just feel intitled to be taken care of. My MIL is very similar I have known her for about 14 years and she has never been able to hold down a job. And of course it's always someone else's fault and she just couldn't handle it any more. I think it's just her personality if you ask me. I put her in her place a long time ago. She still has relaps' every now and then though. Like she just left for a vacation and called my dh for spending money while she was down there! The way we see it, if you can't afford it then you don't need it!

    I would ask my dh if his mother has a hobby she enjoys that she could turn into some type of profit. If she can sew start making Christmas gifts to sell! If she enjoys young children watch some children before and after school. Do something!

    Good Luck!

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 4:10 PM on Aug. 30, 2009