Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why are they called Sperm Donors?

I don't understand why women think it is o.k. to call a biological father a sperm donor. WTH? Don't you think that demeans your child's conception and yourself? I never let anyone say that about my son's father. Yes he is a loser, yes he has never once done anything for him, but he is still someone who provided me with my beautiful son. I can't stand my ex, but to say sperm donor? To me that sounds like you randomly went out and decided to get pregnant! I don't call my husband my sperm donor. We have a child together. Does that make him a donor as well? I honestly think that when you call an ex or whomever a sperm donor it makes you look bad. Like you don't know who the father of your child is. Am I the only one that thinks this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Aug. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (82)
  • Because there are a lot of bitter women out there.

    Yes, there are a lot of crappy men. Absolutely. But - will you tell your kid that the person who is the bio father is nothing more than a shot of jizz?

    Ok. You hate the guy that much that you would hurt your kid that way......your kid, your right to do whatever you want.

    **I** love my kids and value their long term views on where they came from more than that.

    My DH is referred to as the SD by his ex. Why, you ask? Because while he pays CS, and always has, he has the nerve to not just go along with what she wants, and actually fight her in court for his basic rights as a father. How dare he! YET - he is just the SD.

    So when I see the bitterness from all the respondents, I would bet a lot are like the ex we deal with - pissed and thwarted. It's a shitty thing to say. You say you're the better parent?

    Calling BF SD reallllly proves it.
    LiliM

    Answer by LiliM at 5:34 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • I would never call my husband a sperm donor. We conceived our child out of love!
    LuvBug3

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 12:58 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • My sister refers to her baby's dad as the sperm donor. But that's because she got pregnant and then he decided that he never even wanted to meet the baby. My niece is a couple months old and he still hasn't made any effort to see her, and he won't. He just wants to pretend that it never happened and that she doesn't even exist. So in my opinion I think sperm donor is the appropriate term for the loser that he his.
    Bmanda352

    Answer by Bmanda352 at 1:03 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • lol, i've call my dad a sperm donor, not as an insult to my mom, but more as a symbol of him not being around or feeling obligated to be there.

    My mom doesnt call him that, she just says "HIM" lol, but now that Im having a baby of my own, my dad realises that he screwed up majorly as being a father and wants to be a grandpa and im giving him that chance and my mom and him are being cordial and at least holding a conversation that doesnt end up in a cuss battle. So I think all of that sperm donor, and not saying his name stuff kinda went out the window a while ago.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 1:08 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Have a sense of humor! My husband and I joke that he's a sperm donor because that's what he did-- give me sperm. Yes we made love, yes he is very involved in the pregnancy, and has been just wonderful, but it's a joke! We also joke ..."you mean, I'm the mother???"

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • In my experience Sperm Donor is usually used as a term to describe a dad who ditched shortly after conception (or finding out about it). It's not usually a husband or someone you were in a relationship with who had a relationship with the child, KWIM?

    My baby's dad fits the bill, however I would never use that term in front of the child. I am not exactly sure how I will tell him/her why the dad is not around, but once the baby is here I am open to the dad being in the child's life, it will be his choice whether he takes it or not, but I have the feeling he is gone...
    Six_on_my_own

    Answer by Six_on_my_own at 1:23 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • I call Emi's "father" the SD. We have no contact. He doesn't pay child support. He has never met her. He wasn't there for the pregnancy. We never dated. He is just that, a man who donated some genetic material so I could have a baby. I don't say it to be mean. It's just the way it is. Did I go to a sperm bank and use IUI? No. I did it the old fashioned, fun way. But he is still a sperm donor.

    I do get a little irritated when women who have the kid'd dad(s) involved and call them a SD.
    Arisce

    Answer by Arisce at 1:38 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • they call them sperm donors when the man is an ass and isn't there for the child- i call my oldest sons "father" a sperm donor because when I was pregnant with him he threatened to kill me and the baby, he said that he will wait for the baby to be born and kill him in front of me then kill me. I left then and there and so he has never seen my son and is locked up right now for assaulting a police officer, so yeah I call him a sperm donor because he is not a father.... my fiance is more of a father to my son and all of our kids and thats why he has earned the name daddy
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 1:54 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • My son's father is a sperm donor because that's basically all he has done for my son so far.. Donated his sperm. He only sees my son when he feels like it or isn't hungover or too stoned... He would fight tooth and nail to pay child support if it wasn't mandated by the state.. He never calls or checks on him even when he's sick or in the hospital. Yea, he's a sperm donor.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 1:57 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • by the way, I was with my sons father for 2 1/2 years... So it wasn't just a one night thing but he was long gone soon as he met his current hussy and once they got together my son became non existent to him until the end of the year when he needs a dependent on his tax returns.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 1:59 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN