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advice please

What do you do when your 23 yr old stepson tries to come between your husband and you by causing trouble and saying things to his mom. And your husband takes his side you can tell his son enjoys this because he runs and tells his mom everything. He lives with us and listens to everything we have been married 1 yr and he sleeps with his door open and our relations between my husband don't exsit. For fair of his son hearing last time we hade relations was almost 3 months ago all we do is fight and when his dad is not here he stays locked away in his room for fair i will jump him about him causing trouble His ex wife likes this because i know she wants us apart. His kid does nothing and his dad always takes his side i don't know what to do or just walk away What should i say to this kid

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Aug. 30, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (10)
  • uhh..he needs to grow up and go get his own place..he's an adult now..no need to still be livin wit parents..and that theres a reason why his mom and dad are not together....so he just needs to grow up...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • well,my stepson is the same way except he runs to his grandmas(my mil) when he reaches that age and isnt working or helping around the house or in school he is out,ive already let hubby know this and he said he isnt gonna kick his kid out.i wish i could help you.plua my stepson is mean to my 15month old i have with hubby.bitching dont do anything.my stepson is only 17 i have a while yet,he is failing every class andits only week3 here for school,hes in the 10th
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 4:02 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • just tell hubby you have had enough you dont get the respect you deserve and threatn to leave or mabe leave for a while
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 4:03 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Excuse my French but 23? He is a grown ass man, and needs to get a place of his own, or pay rent. If he leaves his door open, close yours, turn on the radio or tv. Or...let him get an ear full. This is your home, not his. Does he pay the bills? You and your hubby have every right to swing from the ceiling if you want too. He runs and tells his mommy? What the hell? He needs to grow up! Your hubby needs to man up, put his foot down and stick by you. He married you, not his son.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:41 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Stepson,not Son, who said I do?, Figure it out, you'll know what to do..All the best...
    bxespresso

    Answer by bxespresso at 7:51 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Ok i am going to get mean here but I would get in his face so to speak! You and your hubby need time alone, plan a time to suduce your hubby, sexy nighty, wine and cheese, etc. Tell your step-son he needs to be out of the house between the hours of ___ and ___ because you and hubby are going to have alone time. Give him $20 so he can go to movie or whatever. If he stays home keep plans and lock your door, turn on some music and have at it. He can call mommy if he wants-she can't do anything you are married and step-son had fair warning to leave. I am sure you will soon have the privacy you and husband need and deserve, and step-son will have new respect for you and his dad.
    higherboundmom

    Answer by higherboundmom at 5:16 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Have relations anyway. Close your door and put on music or TV or whatever. If he listens in then HE is the one with the problem. Have a normal marriage in spite of the SS being there. You and Hubby have GOT to have your intimate time. I agree with higherboundmom. Plan some "FUN" time with hubby. Even catch hubby in the shower. Lock the door to the bathroom climb in with him. 

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:16 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • So what if he goes and tells his mommy? You're a big girl now and you're allowed to have sex with your husband anytime you want. Quit whining and seduce your husband.
    meandmyshadow

    Answer by meandmyshadow at 2:25 AM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • ahh yeah! a23 yr. old is old enough to have a place of his own now.Why is he still living with both of you anyways? Is something wrong with him> ? Tell this young man to go grow up and to leave you two alone and go get himself a life of his own. and as for you he's your husband now so you can show this 23 yr'old how much you two really love each other. And if he doesn't like it he can always move out. lol good luck.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 11:40 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Given the state of the economy, I do understand a 23 yr old living at home, but why is he not living with mom if he is so fond of sharing everything with her? Ground rules should have been established before you got married, but since there were not, you need to have an adult conversation with hubby about this...not a fight, but a frank discussion. You two need to agree on rules, expectations, etc and then hubby needs to present this to son and son needs to know that if he does not like it, he is free to leave. Does ss have any friends, work, go to school, etc? Encourage him to find things to do. Keep your relationship with your hubby between the two of you so he has nothing to tell mommy....he will tire of the lack of drama. Right now, you are playing into his hand.
    tomatoqueen

    Answer by tomatoqueen at 7:33 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

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