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I'm white and my boyfriend is black...

We are expecting our first child together this september. His family has welcomed me with open arms and they are so excited about the baby. My family refuses to accept him. They don't like him. He isn't even invited to my baby shower but my mother's boyfriend is and he is half her age. Do I have a right to be offended? Is there anything I can do to fix this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Aug. 30, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Do I have a right to be offended?heck yes!!!!
    Im white and my husband is mexican, my family does not accept him either. they still to this day dont except him and we've been married for almost a year. our first baby is going to be born in sept as well. when I talk to some of my family the dont even consider me married.
    so I had a b/s one with my family and one with his....and when I talk to my family, I have to respacet them...but Ive told them, if they cant accept my husband and his race, then they cant accept me..
    Good luck
    Lovin_mybaby5

    Answer by Lovin_mybaby5 at 5:17 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Its YOUR baby shower, and if you want him there, bring him. Its his baby too.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 5:13 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • You can be offended, but you can't change who they are.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 5:14 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • yea its YOUR baby shower!! so you bring him!!! and yes you can be offended..its not fair that your mothers bf can come...y does he need to come anyways...so if i was just u..i bring your bf..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • YES YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED!!! I WOULD BRING HIM TO THE SHOWER ANYWAY, MIGHT AS WELL GET THE FAMILY WHO DOES NOT APPROVE USE TO THE IDEA THAT HE IS NOT GOING TO DISSAPEAR.
    PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN AND INFORM EVERYONE WHO DOE NOT APPROVE TO LIVE WITH IT, THIS IS YOUR CHOICE NOT THEIRS!
    older

    Answer by older at 5:21 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Just don't show up to the baby shower and throw your own or have a good friend throw your baby shower and invite your family. But let them know since you are throwing it your boyfriend will be present.
    Darlinree

    Answer by Darlinree at 5:24 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Anytime that a SO is not accepted to a person's family gives the right to be offended. You do not even have to ask that question. You need to let your family know that you are going to be a family know matter what they say or think. Your mom is trying to put a rift between the two of you in hopes that you will break up. If I were you I would take the boyfriend with. What is she going to do, kick you out of your baby shower? This will help the rest of your friends and family know what type of person she is and what type of person she wants you to be. If she sees that you will not back down, then maybe she might wake up, other wise she might lose her daughter and her grand baby. You also need to think about how she will treat that baby when it comes. If she has a problem with black people, will she accept your baby?

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 5:26 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Sure there's something to be done about it. Invite YOUR bf to the baby shower. I'm sorry, but this is your baby now as much as it is his. If he treats you right, is loving, supportive, etc... then he has every bit as much authority as you do over what is to be done with the baby and how things are done. If your family will not accept him... that's just tough. It's going to be an awkward visit when it comes time for them to visit the baby and he's hanging around, hm? :]
    It shouldn't matter what skin color he is, as long as he's a gentleman - well.. that's a keeper to me.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 5:53 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • You have every right to be offended. Your family is being petty, rude and mean. It is your baby shower, bring him with if that is what you want. If they don't like it, too bad. If it is going to be a problem, then tell them that you will not be at the baby shower if they cannot accept the baby's father. I would stick with his family, they sound a lot more acccepting and caring.

    How is your family going to act towards the baby once it is born? Are they only going to accept the baby and you, ignore your BF on holidays, etc? It is time to make your own family with your BF, baby and those that accept both of you. It is your families choice to push you and your baby away. They will have to live with the consequences. Your baby is half black and half of his/her father, it will not be good to have a family that doesn't accept the father, that is saying they don't accept the baby.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:39 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Why would you even let your family throw you a baby shower if your family does not except the father of your baby.  I have been dating  black men sense the late 70's. when my family did not except my boyfriends, I would not let them do anything for me. I would not go to any family functions unless the would let my BF or DH now come. You need to put your foot down. If the baby come out to black are they going to disown the child too.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:43 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

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