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Problems with my daughters last name.

My daughter is due Sept. 23. My mother is pressuring me to not let the father of my child be on the birth certificate and she doesn't want her to have his last name because she doesn't want him to have any rights. She is breeding a fear in me that he will try to take our child away. He and I live together and have been for almost two years now. Deep down inside I don't think he would do that but I can't help but feel afraid now. I want her to have the same last name as me and I don't think her father and I will be getting married anytime soon. But I don't know what he wants. I know his family assumes she'll have his last name. What do I do? What is best?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Aug. 30, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You decide. Your choice. His choice. NOT your mother's choice! Take it from me. I didn't want my daughter to have a dif last name as me. And me and her dad are not married. We have been together 4 years and are still together. Now, we see marriage in the future. But he's not on her birth certificate! I fully regret not giving her his last name. He doesn't mind. But now I do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • If you guys have a great relationship then why not. If you two dont and he is abusive or have made threats before, then dont.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Only you know what is best because only you know the father.

    Your choice...your lastname, his lastname, hyphenate...what do YOU want to do. It is NO ONE ELSE'S business. Tell your mother that you appreciate her concern but the decision is no hers.
    amileegirl

    Answer by amileegirl at 5:37 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Ask him. If you guys are on speaking terms (and it sounds like you are), why wouldn't you ask what he wants?
    kestrelscall

    Answer by kestrelscall at 5:37 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • I say give her his last name especially since he's obviously good enough of a man for you to be with for two years and live with. Even though you don't see marriage in the near future, you could give her your last name and years from now, you could marry someone else. Her last name would be different than yours then too. I think it would be a blow to your relationship not to give the baby his name. And just because she doesn't have his last name or he's not on her birth certificate doesn't mean he doesn't have any rights to her. He could always take you to court and do a paternity test if he chose to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • I didn't want my daughter to have a different last name as me.... I wouldn't give her his name unless you guys are engaged to be married and you know that name will become yours soon anyway (my dd was born in march, I was married in june) now we all have the same last name..... You are the one that will be taking care of her mainly and taking her to school, and having parent/teacher conferences and taking her to her doctor's appointments so trust me it is a lot easier in these situations and many others if you have the same last name as your child..... tell this to your man esactly like I said and he should understand..... or he will ask you to marry you... who knows.... good luck!
    marchma2b

    Answer by marchma2b at 5:42 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • It's really none of your mothers business
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 5:42 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Your mother is a very dominant person, you are about to be a mother and deserve respect, you have to live with the decisions you make everyday, not her it's not up to her, and he can get rights anyway, if DNA test prove he's the father, it has nothing to do with a name. But if you want her to have her dad's last name then that's great, if you want her to have your's then that's fine too, it's up to you. I wouldn't always go to my mother about everything, I'd learn to keep somethings to myself. Good Luck
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 5:51 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • Give her your last name, but put him on the birth certificate.
    Gealach

    Answer by Gealach at 6:10 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • You can put wose ever last name.......yours or his.......i would put yours
    Tedda

    Answer by Tedda at 9:43 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

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