I was adopted as an infant and I have met my birth mother. Now all my curiousity lies in the birth father. I know his name and that is it. I wonder how to find him or if he would want to be found.
Asked by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Aug. 30, 2009 in Adoption
Answer by ceejay1 at 9:41 AM on Aug. 31, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 8:38 PM on Aug. 30, 2009
Answer by doodlebopfan at 8:39 PM on Aug. 30, 2009
Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 8:42 PM on Aug. 30, 2009
Answer by ceejay1 at 10:09 AM on Aug. 31, 2009
As birthmom I agree with the others.Do it with caution as you have been advised.I do know the bdad and while moved on with his life he now regrets his behavior at the time.I informed him when I started to search,no luck yet,he had a lot to say including an apology.He did say he was terrified because he now sees how he could have changed things and fears being hated for not caring about his child,but would welcome the chance to meet his child.I don't get involved with his worries because I carry enough of my own.He is married and has children.I tell you this not to say we are all alike but that even selfish,thoughtless a**holes can mature and grow up.So I think it is worth a cautious try.
Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Aug. 31, 2009
I am a birthmom and I did inform the bdad when I started to search,no luck yet, he had a lot to say including an apology for not taking responsibility so it could have been different.He is married with children.He said he is terrified because he is worried about being hated but still would welcome the chance to know his child.I think you should follow the wise advice you have been given by these other moms.I only tell you about the birthdad in my story so you will know that even selfish, thoughtless a**holes can grow up and mature.Not all do ;but to my shock a while back some do .It is worth a cautious shot.
Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Aug. 31, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Aug. 31, 2009
Since you have his name you should find a search angel in your state. Just google. As far as whether or not he'll want to be found, you'll never know until then. I know several birth fathers who really care about their adoptee children and have the same feelings as birth mothers do about their reunion. But, I know them from my adoption support group so that's to be expected. You might want to find an adoptee support group to ask other adoptees about their experiences. Here's a link to a good one: http://chosen-babies.com/
Answer by onethentwins at 9:19 PM on Aug. 31, 2009
Answer by ceejay1 at 12:10 PM on Sep. 2, 2009