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I am crying right now and I just want this relationship to be over with...

I am the one who posted the question earlier about the drunk suicidal sounding text. I just got off the phone with him and I am so done being with him. I just want to end it but I dont know how, when he is sober, he is the greatest and then I dont want to end it but when he is drunk, he is evil and I wont end it when he is drunk because he probably will kill himself or freak out. I love him with all my heart but I am tired of worrying, tired of hurting me with his words, tired of not being able to have a stable life with him.

Somebody please just give some advice or something...please no bashing, I cant take that right now.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on Aug. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • hello dear,
    my prayers are with you,please get him home he should not be out this late drunk. Do not break up with him but get him to AA.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • He is home, drunk and unattended. We dont live together and that is why I worry so much when he makes threats. No one is there to make sure he is okay. I have tried all I can for him, I even bought him some pills that seemed to be helping until this weekend. It just hurts too much.

    Thank you so much for your prayers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • My husband use to threaten to kill himself when he was drunk with his first wife and attempted several times to do it, so it was good that you checked on him because you never know when they are serious or not. But he gets drunk now with me and threatens the same thing and it use to scare me to death until my mother said he's just doing that to upset you and I found out that was true. He threatened this last time and I called his sister, she cried and asked me to speak to him. He said" I know you didn't call and upset my sister with this if you thought I was going to kill myself you should have called the police. He was more concerned about her being upset than what he was doing to me.I found out he was trying to upset me and it was just a game to him but soon as I involved his family he made like I knew he wasn't serious. This is mental abuse and I told him if you ever do this again I would call his family every time, he stop
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • You can't be with someone like this, it's not healthy for you or him bc it seems like he's an alcoholic and he needs help. Tell him, while he's sober, that you guys need a break from each other and once he gets help with his drinking, maybe you can try to work things out. Let him get the help 1st if you still want to be with him not before then. Believe me it wont get better if he doesn't get help for that drinking.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • hey there.
    my babys father and ex-bf is an alcoholic. he is always drunk, he has never gave me a cent to help take care of our baby, he's a liar too. It takes a lot of commitment to stick out a relationship with an alcoholic. It will not EVER work if it isnt balanced, i.e if you want them to change MORE than they are willing to try to change. I did everything I could to help my ex, but he wouldnt help himself. This is gonna sound harsh, but if he really wants to kill himself, if he truly does, then its better to just leave him alone and whatever happens will happen. You cant change anyone like that. Do you think he's just going to do this once? It will be a never-ending cycle.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Make him choose. Talk to him when he's sober and let him know that it's either alcohol or you. I'd go so far as to make him go into a treatment program. AA is great but it doesn't sounds like it's going to be enough for this guy.
    You have to stick to your guns. If he starts drinking again or refuses treatment says he can do it on his own then that's it.

    Sorry I know this is a crappy no win situation. My own father hid the fact that he did pot for years. You'll be in my prayers. Good Luck!
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 4:05 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • My husband is a recovering alcoholic. Sober for 2 years. However, before that, he was the raging drunk. The evil drunk. By the way, the suicidal text is a control tactic. It's his way of keeping a hold on you. 'If you do this, I will do this'. He knows you care about him and don't want that to happen to him. My suggestion is to leave and wash your hands of it (bc recovery is harder than the using in my opinion) or tell him to go to counseling with you and rehab. DH has been to rehab and we did a year and a half of weekly counseling. I have seen just about everything with alcoholism. Worse than I care to admit. PM me if you want to talk more.
    Meganskiddos

    Answer by Meganskiddos at 9:04 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Thanks to all of you for your kind words and honesty.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

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