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i need advice from mom's with older kids..

okay soo im 21 [still living with the parents]. and my friend introduced me to this guy that i REALLY like. but the thing is, he has tattoos.. and a lot of them. all down one of his arms and on his chest. and a couple on his back. but they are all for his brother that passed away. and my mom is FREAKING OUT. she says guys with tattoos are low lifes, and drug addicts, and look like they are from jail, and that she will do anything she can to make sure i don't date anyone like that. he seems like a reallllllly nice guy though. i dont know what to do to convince her. she was born in poland and is extremely old fashioned. i need some advice here!!! pleassseee!

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:12 AM on Aug. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Ok, at 21, you should be old enough to make your own decisions. However, keep in mind, that at 21, you are also old enough that your parents can say that they choose to not support your decisions (or you financially).

    I personally don't care for tattoos, but I have many friends that have them, and I don't think that having them or not makes you a bad person or not. Is there any way that this guy could meet your mom with, say, a long sleeve shirt on or whatever, basically, covering the tattoos until she meets him and gets to know him? Once she sees that he is, in fact, a good guy, then she can be introduced to the tattoos, so to speak.

    Sort of like the song "Signs" when the sign says "long haired hippy people need not apply" So I tucked my hair up under my hat and went in to ask him why... "


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:26 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I think you need to take him to meet her properly. If he is indeed a good guy then after they've had a meal together or spent a prolonged period of time your mother may realise that he isn't an awful guy. At 21 though you can make your own decisions, whether your mother disapproves or not. However I'm sure it would be nice to get her approval. Oh and get him to cover up the tattoos when they meet properly, if it's possible.

    Answer by mommatomanyy at 6:57 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • wow, how judgmental she is. My son has tatoos all over and he's the nicest guy in the world. He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't use drugs, he works hard and respects others. I'm sure there are others out there like him. He uses his body has a canvas to display art. That's his fashion statement. I hope you get to know the guy and mom gives in

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:56 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Has he met your mom? Maybe he should point out a few of his tattoos (like on his arms) and tell your mom what they represent and why he got them (like in honor of his late brother). Maybe if your mom knew the reason and history behind the tats it might give her an clue what he is about.
    I also think your mom needs to sit down and talk to him, learn more about him and not judge him by what is on the outside. She needs to look beneath the surface and see who he is inside.
    You are a legal adult, and if you like they guy, why not give him a chance? Your mom has to realize you are an adult and she needs to let you make your own choices.
    I hope everything works out!!

    Answer by MizLee at 10:16 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • sailorwifenmom's comment----Sort of like the song "Signs" when the sign says "long haired hippy people need not apply" So I tucked my hair up under my hat and went in to ask him why... "

    Yes- that is on target!

    If you have not heard the song- it is a good one

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • i work with a cop that has tats hes also is in the national guard a security guard & is raising his 3 daughters on his own ~ guess hes a bad guy too cause of the tats, tell mom to step off her pedestal & come down to earth with the rest of us its kinda nice down here :)


    Answer by tntornado45 at 11:29 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

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