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do any of you permit your kids to swear, within reason?

 
hibbingmom

Asked by hibbingmom at 4:18 AM on Aug. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (33)
  • My kids swear sometimes and we're okay with that. They're just words and are not automatically disrespectful IMO. How can my son saying "damn" in an empty room because he stubbed his toe be disrespectful to anyone? Rather than forbidding swearing we just taught our kids that there are times and situations when those words are not appropriate. We also taught them to respect family and friends who don't cuss by not cussing around them. My kids rarely cuss, but when they do it's usually for something that I probably would have said a choice word or two myself. And they don't swear casually or for shock value.
    jessradtke

    Answer by jessradtke at 10:23 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • my daughter hasn't gone thru the phase just yet. but my son, almost 5, has a social filter for his language. It bothers my mom and my MIL.... but my husband and I thought we'd give it a shot, and it worked for us.

    My theory is just like a little kid can be manipulative and have people preferences (like eating veggies for daddy but not you, or going to bed good for the sitter and no one else) I thought we could feel free to swear when appropriate for us (like with each other, and in the car) and he'd mimic the social cues.... and at preschool if he spills his milk he says "oops!" and at home "oh shit" and at a restaurant, he makes a quick choice based on the surroundings and volume and atmosphere as to whether it's acceptable or not.

    I am prepared for a few negative comments, as my Mom lays into me about it often.

    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 4:21 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • no way. Curse words (IMO) are very disrespectful and show no class. My DH and I also do NOT curse, so our kids follow or example. I know that they will eventually hear that language from other kids, but they better never let me hear them say those words.
    Mesha125

    Answer by Mesha125 at 4:48 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • DH and I agree that curse words are just words and its the way words are used that make them disrespectful. I do not allow her to disrespect anyone. So if she was to say a word in frustration or something she wouldn't be in trouble. But other people in her life have drilled it into her that cursing is bad. So she doesn't say them at all and often reminds DH not to curse.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 6:17 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I don't accept curse words generally but in situations of extreme emotion (serious situations) I don't punish to harshly. My daughter is 14 now and occasionally she does swear, but if it is without serious emotion and they haven't just slipped out but have been used with malicious purpose she does get punished.
    mommatomanyy

    Answer by mommatomanyy at 6:48 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • We do not feel it's acceptable to curse. We don't do it (no, believe it or not, we DON'T), so we don't expect our children to.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 7:12 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • They are just words. My kids are too young to use them but if they accidentally say one in a situation I don't punish them. I just remind them that they are words for adults and they aren't allowed to use them yet. We have never had a problem with them swearing. When they are older and understand when it is and isn't appropriate to use them then they can swear. Probably when they are teens.
    The kids I found to be the worst about swearing in school were the ones that were forbidden to use the words at home. They got to school and it's all they did was swear.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 7:55 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I punish ( actually I never punish, only discipline)  being a bad person not saying bad words. Words can only hold the power we give them. So no, I don't punish bad words as long as it is used to make a point and not just mindless cursing for lack of a better vocabulary choice.


     

    mellowmommy64

    Answer by mellowmommy64 at 8:00 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • My kids are only 2&3 so they don't really know them yet. But when they do, I don't see words as bad, just useage. So I will teach them there is a time and place for those words. If they are sittin around the house I don't really care if they swear. Out in public or dealing with their Gram, it's different.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 8:05 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • OP here and wanted to clarify that we only use the words to express emotion, not to hurt feelings or name call! I would never permit namecalling or mean-ness, be it poopy head, ugly, meanie, jerk, or the f bomb.

    It is just a word.... unless it makes someone sad. So we draw the line there... context I suppose you'd say
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 8:06 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

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