Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Un wanted but kept pregnancies VS. Women that can't get pregnant.....

I am new to Cafemom and have been reading a lot of posts about Women that have had kids when they weren't ready or weren't trying and kept them but are truly struggling and then I have read post about Women trying so hard to have a baby and would give anything to have one. Or abortions??? Women are having them every second of the day and people would give their lifes for a baby. I guess sometimes I just don't understand how life works and why it works the way it does. So why is it so easy for some and so hard for others????


Asked by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I have been asking myself that very question for years now. We started to try to get pregnant 1-1/2 years after we were married and tens of thousands of dollars of testing and treatment and 7 years later, we gave up.

    There's probably a lot that has to do with it. I am healthy and DH is healthy. My eggs are fine and DH's sperm is fine and they create embryos without any problem. They just never attached. After the medical procedures we went through, and we took it as far as it could go, we finally realized there was no way it would happen. Kind of just not meant to be.

    BUT...that's fine. I'd re-live those hellish years a million times over to end up with the daughter I have today through adoption. Wouldn't change a second of it!!

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 1:45 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I know of someone personally who has had children to try and save a relationship. It's such a joke. There are women out there who really want to bare children and can't and then there are those who abuse the gift. I'll never understand it. It's just the way it goes sometimes.

    For the reason why some can't conceive, there are many factors to consider. I don't believe it's fate or karma, simply timing and health.

    Answer by geminigirl18 at 1:37 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • many reasons why, and many unanswered reasons why. I am a Christain so I believe that sin is the reason.. for all the injustices in the world. Sin entered the world when Adam and Eve disobeyed God and so the world is corrupt with sickness, death etc. Some people are very blessed to be fertile, some people struggle (mainly because our bodies are not perfect, usually there are medical reasons for not being able to concieve), and the people who have kids that they don't want etc. struggle with many other things depending on the individual, sometimes financial reasons, sometimes stress and sometimes pure selfishness.

    Answer by Precious333 at 1:50 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • This question came up last week in Las Vegas when a 19-year-old woman killed her week old baby. I don't know the answer. I know my sister in law is going through fertility treatments that she bitches non-stop about. I know my best friend from high school was thrilled two months ago to finally adopt a baby she had waited years and years for. I know when I got pregnant, I was not prepared and didn't plan it, but it is the most delightful surprise I've ever had. I don't think we're supposed to know who should and shouldn't have kids. Maybe it's a reminder to love and cherish our own.

    Answer by lvpenguino at 3:48 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I agree with lvenguino, who are we to judge who should and should not have children? yes it is tragic to see children born to abusive people, or as many posts leave out to fathers who have children by multiple women moving on after he looses interest and blames it on others.

    On the other note, my youngest DD was unplanned (not unwanted by me, though her father my pregnancy revealed his cheating, which he had to come up with lies about) and by unplanned I mean I was on a monthly BC shot. She is pure joy to behold, just as my two other children are. My refusal to have an abortion ended a unhealthy relationship, she helped me realize who this man really was.

    My point is that some times children help parents rise above, other times those babies are put up for adoption and a great family is given the chance to nurture them. Remember Judge not less ye be judged.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • It just is

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:08 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Oh and we can't forget anon 9:45 about the women who have children by multiple men and trap men into having children. Or what about the one's who lie about being on birth control and act all surprised when the man who didn't want to have another child feels tricked and betrayed by the vulture for lying and wants to run and be with a woman who doesn't play childish games. Hmmm...strange? No, depraved and evil. We wouldn't want to judge that now would we?

    Personally I don't think it's up to us who has children. Trust me if we did, there would be a whole different scenario. Life just isn't fair.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on Sep. 3, 2009