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Brand new teachers and respect?

My daughter who is 13 has already received 3 detentions since the term began 2 weeks ago all given to her by her history teacher. She says the teacher is unfair to everyone, at first they thought he was cool but he's not. She says they get in trouble for not handing in homework first thing, and for talking and goofing off, she says the other teachers don't care about those things.
Come to find out it is the teacher's first year of solo teaching, and he is younger only about 25. Most of the teachers in the school are younger than 40, it is a newer district, we have never had many problems though. I am now supposed to meet with the teacher since this is the 3rd time in one month she has been in trouble.
I don't really know how to address this situation, don't know if I should believe DD either. I'm a little embarrassed too. Dd says new teachers should have to earn their respect. Any ideas on how to address this with her?


Asked by WishyClarkson at 1:51 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 9 (305 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Hmmm, I would say that the teacher deserves her respect simply because he is the teacher. Friends earn your respect, but those who are in authority over us should automatically get it. When she is on her own & has a job, her boss doesn't need to "earn" her respect - she darn well better give it or she won't have a job anymore & it should be no different with her teachers now.

    As for all of the detentions, I don't see any problem w/giving a detention for inattentiveness during class (ie.."goofing off"), as she is there to learn not socialize. Same for homework - if the class rule is to hand it in first thing, then that's what you do. If you have a project due on your boss' desk at 9 AM sharp, it darn well better be there or you could get fired.

    She is 13 years old - practically an adult - and needs to start taking responsibility for her own behavior & actions. It is your DD who should be embarassed, not you!

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 2:02 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • actually it should be the other way around in my opinion....the students should be earning the TEACHERS respect...i would go in to the meeting with an open mind...yes he is new so its very possible your daughter is correct...but find out how many detentions hes giving out as a whole...if your daughter is one of the select few...then its not the teacher...but also realise hes knew...cut him some slack.....but if there are any concerns make sure you voice them!!! since hes knew how else will he learn if parents are afraid to talk to him about concerns...look at this as a good learning tool for you, your daughter, and the teacher.

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 1:55 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • So this teacher says homework must be handed in first thing and expects no talking and goofing off. Your daughter things she should break his class rules by handing in homework whenever it strikes her fancy and talk/goof off. Other teachers don't care if children follow the rules or not. And you're upset at HIM...the only one who believes these children should follow rules?

    How would I address it? Well, first off, I'd be grounding my kid because obviously she doesn't obey rules. Secondly, I would shake the hand of the only teacher on that school who obviously cares about preparing children for the real world.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 1:56 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I agree with PP. He might be trying to show the students that just because he's new does not mean they can goof off in class. They shouldn't be doing that anyway. Give him some slack but do voice your concerns.

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 1:57 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Sounds like your kid is a brat that is giving this new teacher a rough time! You should DEAL with your kid-not the teacher.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • That was my question, how to I address this with DD? I am not upset at the TEACHER at all, just slightly clueless when it comes to things like this, since she has not really been in trouble before at school.

    Answer by WishyClarkson at 2:01 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Go into the meeting with an open mind. Find out what exactly he feels is going on then tell him your take of the situation, through your daughters explanations, while not disclosing the particulars of yours and hers personal convo.
    As far as DD, you should tell her that teachers as to be respected right away. Unless they do something to tear down to break down that respect, it's just supposed to be something that is automaticly there. You are there to learn, not goof off or chatter. Some teachers may let you get away with it, but as you get older, more and more will not. And in fact, more and more will demand your attention and respect right off the bat. The sooner she realizes it the easier it will be.

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 2:06 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Ohhhh...sorry, I was reading your question completely wrong.

    I would have a talk with her telling her that she needs to follow the individual rules of each teacher in their classrooms. By this point (seriously....3 detentions in 2 weeks is NOT a good thing), I would be adding to those punishments when she gets home. Make her do extra chores or take a portion of her allowance away. Especially if your daughter didn't use to get in trouble like this, you need to nip it in the bud before her school behavior gets out of hand.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 2:08 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • talkm with the teacher, sit in on a class. im sorry i was 13 once and i wouldn't take a thing my 13 yr old says to heart unless it's abuse in regards to school. i was that child that cut up and didn't do homework. thing is no matter his age, he is their elder, a teacher, and they need to respect him and follow his rules. if you find out your dd is involved int he shenanigans, then you need to get on her butt....make homewor the first thing she does when she walks in, cut up that allowance, whatever you have to do. it seems as if she learned how to push buttons and has been given an inch and she's taken a mile

    Answer by ssnelson26 at 2:29 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • sorry but a new teacher should not have to earn the kids respect. The kids should respect the teacher. However that goes both ways the students should be respected also. You daughter has been in detention 3 times in two weeks. You mom need to address this with her and go to the meeting open minded. Your daughter IMO is in the wrong here.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 2:30 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

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