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Are there other over 40 women waiting to adopt?

I am 44 and my husband is 48. We went through the fertility treatments and had two pregnancies that didn't last. We are awaiting a birthmom to choose us and I am worried that our ages are against us. Please share any information that you may have or advice.

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Asked by Steptrish at 2:26 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (6)
  • What happened to the answers that were here?

    I am 41 and we are adopting a 2 y/o that we have been foster parents to since he was 6 months old. Adoption thru foster care may not be for everyone, but we have the most beautiful "baby" boy ever, and gave his mom time to try to get her life together. Although things didn't turn out in her favor, I am thankful to have gotten to know her thru visitations, and am happy to be raising this wonderful boy who otherwise would have been looking for a forever family. Lucky us!

    I don't know how age works for/against you in domestic infant adoptions. Surely some are looking for young, active couples like themselves. Other moms may be a little older and could appreciate someone who was settled & stable in their life and ready & waiting to start their family. It just depends on the desires of the mother. Good luck!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 3:10 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I must have mistakenly erased them. Thank you for your words of encouragement!

    Answer by Steptrish at 3:15 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • You cant erase other people's answers.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I posted earlier but it seems to be gone. In any case, my husband and I adopted our son 2 yrs ago when I was just shy of 44 and he was just shy of 41. Nearly all the people we met along the way were in their 40s as well. One couple was in their late 30s. I don't feel that it was held against us only because that seemed to be a pretty common age range. I also don't know that the information was given to the birthparents unless you included it in your letter/profile. A friend of mind just adopted earlier this year and they were both in their early 40s. They only waited 6 months before they were matched! We waited about 21 months. Good luck!

    Answer by momofryan07 at 4:37 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Hi, We are also in the process of getting matched and worried about this too. In fact, lots of information we found on international adoptions made us believe that because of our age, domestic would be better. I am 42 and my husband is 39. We just emphasized our activities and interests in the birthletter. We also chose an agency in a different state that has more favorable adoption rules, and think this will facilitate the process.
    good luck.

    Answer by kaysmom726 at 10:00 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • I am 40 now and not looking to adopt again, but I don't think it automatically means you won't get chosen. You may just have to wait longer. I was 35 when DD was born, and her bmom was 36. I was 39 when DS was born, and his bmom was 42. As an older couple waiting to adopt, we were chosen both times by older bmoms. In our case, we got married when we were 27 and 38. After several years of failed infertility treatments we started pursuing adoption, and it took a very long time before we found our first child. I would say to be patient and try to find ways to occupy your time so you're not thinking about it so much that you get discouraged. Also, start preparing your home for a little one. Your waiting time is when you should be nesting!

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:55 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

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