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Why do I feel such uncontrollable anger?

Since my second child has been born I have felt so overwhelmed. When I only had my son (who is now 3) to take care of, I was the mother I wanted to be. I played with him, had fun with him, kept up with the house, kept all of his needs met. Since my daughter was born 10 months ago, I feel like I am always losing my temper, feeling frustrated and yelling. I spend hardly any time one on one with either of the kids and the days just pass me by. Every night when I lay down to go to sleep and I feel like I wasted the entire day being angry. And this anger is so strong that I can't stand it. I don't feel like me. I find myself yelling at my son because he's getting on my nerves. He's not even doing anything really wrong but I can't help myself. I know I'm being unfair but while I feel like that I can't control myself. It's really scaring me. Any suggestions? Please don't be too harsh, I feel horrible as it is.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Having 2 makes having 1 seem like none. That is so true for me. It has been VERY challenging for me/us since my 2nd was born. It wasn't so bad the first year, although I was exhausted...the second year (he is now 2.5 and my DD is 4.5), has been tough. They fight about 17 times a day, that is what sends me through the ROOF. I can't take it. I do work on my reactions though, and I do make an effort to try and give each some one on one time. It is VERY hard, you are not alone...
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 2:37 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Maybe you are suffering from ppd? Maybe you should try to get out of the house more often . . . and I know that in itself is a challenge, but I know I feel a lot better when I get out of the house!
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:41 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • it could definitely be post partum depression...depression doesnt always show itself and JUST being sad...it can be a rollercoaster...
    try to take ten minutes every day to be by yourself....i used to love taking baths with candles and music...also try to get out of the house without the kids once in a while! sometimes just getting that much needed break can be a big difference!
    blueeyedgrl2377

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 2:50 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • That sounds just awful to feel like that all the time and my heart aches for you. I definitely think you are dealing with some depression and should talk to your doctor. I know some people don't like to consider meds, especially if you're still breast feeding, but I would definitely consider the options. You don't want to keep going at this rate, as your post clearly states. It is only making you feel worse about yourself when you're already feeling low. Medication doesn't have to be a lifelong thing, either. The good news is that you can stop beating yourself up about this. You've taken the very first step toward DOING something about it by posting here for some suggestions!! Congratulations!!
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 3:09 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • zoloft.....
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:15 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • You're not alone. I've been there. My girls are 3 and 5 now, and I still have those days (sometimes weeks). It can be overwhelming at times. I think it has to do with being on Mommy mode 24/7. If you don't now, one thing I'd recommend is getting your husband or a friend to take the kids for even just 15 minutes regularly so you can walk, grocery shop, listen to 'adult' music...anything that is just you as you...not you as Mommy. It does help...It took me a long time to try it, but I feel renewed because of it.

    One thing I started doing a while back (and it's sounds silly) is counting out loud to 10. It gives my girls a time limit to do what I asked and time for me to think through what I'm going to do or say next without being rash. It gives me a moment to rationalize what's happening and adjust my behavior. It seems funny at times to count aloud, but I've gotten used to it and it does help.
    dimplz125

    Answer by dimplz125 at 3:35 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • You could be depressed, please get an evaluation done and treatment started ASAP.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:49 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • huggingThank you for posting this.I have felt the same way since my second child was born.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Can you pm me.
    KzaM4Infinity

    Answer by KzaM4Infinity at 4:59 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • My friend has the same issues. She has been really over-whelmed, sleep-deprived, breast-feeding, and SAHM, and one car, so unless she takes hubby to work (packing 2 kids) then she's basically stuck. I think sometimes that she feels like she had control of her life before, and now, there is too much. Add in potty training the oldest, pets to take care of, and just the loneliness that attacks when you been with children all day, and it's a wonder she doesn't lose her mind, much less her temper. You NEED a break, even if it's short. This is something that people have to tell us over & over because to most moms it's not natural to even want a break, much less take one. We are hardest on ourselves because we want to be perfect at the most over-worked, under-paid, under-appreciated, thankless job ever. I hope it gets better. You are not alone.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 5:06 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

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