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Is anyone "disappointed" in their parents grandparenting?

I know this sounds really petty but I am a bit disappointed in my parents, especially my mom who lives so close by, as grandparents! I was a very high risk pregnancy and my baby is truly a miracleand highly anticiapted - I guess I just thought that my mom would be far more interactive with the baby, coming to see her more, offering to keep her and generally just do more "grandma" things -she only has one other grandchild - who lives out of state. I dunno - maybe I am being over sensitive but I have friends whose mothers are grabbing at baby every chance they get. What do you girls think??

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chefronswife

Asked by chefronswife at 4:47 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 15 (2,045 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • My parents aren't really into it. They only live three miles away. They expect me to be the one to always bring them to their house to visit. Granted I am a stay at home mom and have time during the day to run to their house, but they work. I never know when they are home. But then they complain that they never see the kids. (which they complain to my brother and sil as well but then they didn't even bother to come to my niece's bday party). Anyway, it is very frustrating, I can't make them happy and my kids don't really know them that well. My inlaws on the other hand are amazing jump on any chance to see the kids and just take them for the day just because. I tell my husband all the time that I have never seen grandparents so excited about their grandkids as they are.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:53 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I had this problem too! I still do. My mom died though but my MIL it terrible. She acts like it is a pain to watch them. She dosent offer to come and get them just for fun or anything. It hurts me to see tat they dont have a great relationship with their grandparents. I hope I am never like that when I am a grandmother. There is really nothing you can do about it besides talk to her. If it dosent change then you are going to have to accept it. It is hard and sad and I am sorry you have to go through this.
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 4:54 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • OH MY GOSH BE GREATFUL! MY PARENTS WERE TOO INVOLVED! Seriously, they would show up at my house at 5 am to pick up the baby when she was only a week or so old. It was HORRIBLE having them around all the time. Please, please, don't get me wrong, I love my parents, and I love that they want to be involved, but my parents literally saw my DD EVERY SINGLE DAY of her life until she was 7 months old. And the only reason that they missed a day then was because they were out of town. But they still had to call and tell her goodnight. SHE WAS 7 MONTHS OLD! I think a balance is the key.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • a little bit. my parents live far away, so I understand they cant always visit. my mom calls all the time and speaks to my son. my dad isnt much of a phone person but he always asks how my son is. but my son's other grandparents dont live too far away, but DS really only sees them on special occasions. I think it's a shame!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Well, I almost hate to ask my mom to watch her because I feel like it is such an imposition. Here i the funny part - my mom is a highschool teacher! So yes she does work but still. I told my dad and stepmom last night as they were coo-ing over the baby that she WAS available for overnight visits so Mommy and DAddy could have a "date" - I got a bunch of excuses! It is almost like they all want the "glory" of having a new grand child but do NOT want to put in any of the work!
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 5:00 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Shoot we live with my father and he still stinks as a grandfather.. He won't even spend time with my son even though my son adores him.

    My mom passed away when my son was 2 but she was great with him and his grandparents on his father's side couldn't even tell you what he looked like.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 5:01 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Be thankful that these grandparents don't want anything to do with their grandchildren because by their actions they are demonstrating a huge lack of positive role model in your children lives. In the other hand if you have overbearing grandparents you would complain too. So a balanced act is best but is so hard to achieve that basically parents are left with the task of raising their own children as it should be. To the OP if you have hard feelings share those with your parents they may out of obligation spent more time with your little one, but would you really appreciated if you had to ask for it? My suggestion is enjoy you baby and look for a nice "surrogate grandma" there are a lot of nice elderly people who are eager to act as grandparents. look at it like this, family you are stock with what you got but friends you can always choose. Choose an elderly good friend and your child will experience granny's love.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 5:18 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • i dont have a problem with my parents...my dad lives in another state but when we go over there he is none stop playing and having fun with the kids...and my mom come over everyother day my kids go over alot and they sleep over there when me and my dh go out...the only problem is my MIL I HAVE TWO KIDS A 3 YR AND A 2YR AND SHE HAS ONLY TAKEN CARE OF THEM ONCE AND FOR 30MINS AND CALLED MY DH AND SAID WHEN ARE WE COMING TO PICK THEM UP AND SAID SHE WASNT GOING TO BE MY PERSONAL BABYSITTER HAHAHA MY MOM SAYS THAT SHES JUST STUPID CAUSE SHES MISSING OUT ON THE KIDS,BUT IT REALLY HURTS MY DH THAT HIS MOM IS LIKE THAT
    leeahsgerasmom

    Answer by leeahsgerasmom at 5:47 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I am very lucky. My mom is wonderful. I had a very difficuly colicky crying baby and she came over daily but because she KNEW i needed help! I think she saw he everyday of his life til he was 3 or 4 months old ( still colicky at this time too ) so it probably saved us all from going insane. Although he's still challenging and she is scared to take him over night..haha... she loves him to pcs but asks often if I get sick of her ! no way!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:52 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I have had the same problem with my mom. While I was pregnant with my daughter I asked her if she would be able to help me out for a week or two with my 2 yr old son and maybe even take him a few days out of the week at least until Im more healed and used to having the baby around. She came over maybe 2 times and hung out for an hr and did not help me at all. It is frustrating because I know if I were her I wouldve helped. Sometimes grandparents are so stubborn I guess.
    brandidy56

    Answer by brandidy56 at 5:57 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

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