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Does it ever seem like the people who want to get pregnant miscarry more than those who accidentally get pregnant?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • I don't think so. For one thing, there are a lot of women who miscarry and didn't even know they were pg yet (they got pg on accident) until the miscarriage happens.

    Someone who is wanting to get pg and is trying is more likely to be watching, taking tests, etc, so they're going to know they're pg earlier. So, they're going to notice when they miscarry.

    Does that make sense?

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:23 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • The above poster is technically right...but among women who already know they are pregnant, as in... say... 6-8 does kind of seem that way sometimes. I'm sure it is nothing statistical and we probably only notice it more with those who don't deserve kids. For example...all the drug addicts who get pregnant and the baby lives despite their drug use (and is born healthy half the time no less!) and the mother with no job, no husband, and ten kids. Whereas, we've all probably known somebody who would make a great mother and is stable and in a healthy relationship...but they can't get pregnant or suffer a miscarraige. I think we notice it more when this happens because it all seems unfair. Not necessarily that it DOES happen that way more often...but it seems that way because when it happens we're thinking "Where's the justice?"

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 8:29 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I understand what ErinHill is saying, and I agree with that, too. If you're talking about women who do know they're pg.

    One is trying, wants to be a mom, is going to take good care of her kids, etc, and you have a woman who's a druggie, has 3 kids that have all been taken from her because of abuse and or neglect, etc. They're both pg. The woman who has it together and is trying to get pg is more likely to tell people (or, even if she doesn't, she's happy about it and wants the baby). The other lady is less likely to tell people (or, even if she does, she's probably not happy about it and doesn't want the baby).

    They both miscarry. The first woman is going to be devastated - understandably, and her loved ones are more likely to hear about it. The other woman is more likely to look at it like "whew - dodged a bullet there.." and move on, so we don't hear about it.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:35 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • cont

    My point being that the women who aren't trying do miscarry just as often as the ones who are trying, so if you're trying, or if you've just had a miscarriage, please don't give up hope, because you have just as much chance as a woman who isn't trying to carry a baby to full term!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:36 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I think that many women who are TTC and fail try to see the logic in life, look for the reason they can not carry when others who in their opinions should not be able to have and are able to bare. Honestly there is no reason. IMHO no pregnancy is an accident. To me they are unplanned blessings, gifts and angels to be cherished. I am sad for those who have difficulty conceiving and carrying, yet when they are able to conceive or adopt I know they will cherish that baby all the more because of the trials they have gone through, no I am not saying the baby will be loved more then an unplanned baby, they will just have a different bond with their parents. If you are TTC don't loose hope, try not to be negative and remember when God closes a door he opens a window.

    Answer by Wildkitten82 at 10:12 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

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