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Why am I so weak?

Lastnight was an effin nightmare. My boyfriend doesnt live with me and we have been physically away from eachother for a month except for the two nights before last. He is an alcoholic and I hate it. He was drunk last night, talking like he was (no offense) black, laughing hysterically at nothing, being a weirdo, saying crazy things, putting me down and telling me off. I could have got off the phone but I did not want to end the convo fighting because he was drunk and well, I dont like end the night that way. I want to be done, I want to end it, I dont want to be with him. The only problem is......I cant tell him that I dont want to talk to him or be with him anymore. I love him so much and today when he called, nothing was said about last night and we were "pretending" that everything was okay. I was sweet, he was sweet...its pathetic.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Oh my. I wish I could save you. Love is not cruel and you do not deserve this kind of treatment. I was once abused but somehow found the strength to get away. I am now married to a wonderful loving man who respects and truly loves me and believe me, I'm no angel. Please, Please try and call a local domesic abuse shelter and get some support. Verbal abuse is so sad. My heart can't bear to see one more woman being abused.
    writeon

    Answer by writeon at 8:33 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • When you are dealing with alcohol you are not dealing with the man. Many of us had to let go of a man bc he wouldn't let go of the alcohol. They drown in the power of the alcohol and if you stay you can be dragged down in it as well. Save yourself.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:35 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Oh sweetie, I feel for you. The reason you don't want to let go is because you don't feel worth it. Trust me, you are. You aren't weak, you just have had a tough row to hoe. Take a break, breathe in, stand up, brush yourself off, remind yourself it isn't you, you are doing good by you. Go be good to you.
    urkiddingright

    Answer by urkiddingright at 8:39 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I understand what you mean only because I have had friends like this and it drove me nuts!! lol ;)

    This is what I think might help. Writing my problems down always helped me, because when it came to the time to get those thoughts off your chest, you can't always put them into words. Make a list of pros and cons. ie: Pros~ he loves me, he's hot ;), we have fun together, etc. Cons~he drinks WAY too much, he disrespects me, he never takes responsibilities for his actions, etc.
    When you are done, look the lists over and see which one is longer. If it is the pros, then maybe sit with him and discuss what you have found (when he is sober of course). Show him the bad things that you feel and figure out a happy medium (you can't make some one change. they have to want to change). If the cons are greater, then show him your list, tell him that you are sad because you have all these Pros, but the Cons out weigh and .........
    DirtyMonkey

    Answer by DirtyMonkey at 8:40 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • ... you need to make #1...well, #1. Otherwise neither of you will be happy! I know it's easier said than done. Just think how life will be 1, 3, and even 10 years down the road if nothing is done and you let him be his drunken stupid self. That might put a fire under you. I'm not saying end it, try to work on it if you love him that much. If you just can't deal, then that's at least a good start to an end.

    Good luck!!!!!!
    DirtyMonkey

    Answer by DirtyMonkey at 8:43 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Ask yourself this: If it was YOUR DAUGHTER writing the above, what would you tell her? Would you want HER to put up with that treatment?

    THEN DON"T TAKE IT YOURSELF!

    Being alone forever is FAR better.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:49 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

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