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How can I deal with my son's ODD?

How can I cope with my 7 year old son who has Oppositional Defiant Disorder when I am dealing with my own Generalized Anxiety Disorder? I don't think I can handle the power struggle anymore. I am so tired and scared. I hate arguing with my son, but it takes him 4-6 hours and lots of yelling to get him to complete 20 math problems...and he loves math! I just can't handle it anymore! I don't have medical insurance, and I am on a long waiting list for the Andrews Center (helps low income families with medical issues) I might be able to get him in there sometime February... I really need help!

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Asked by Nicollynne at 8:49 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (26 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • omg i had to do a research paper on this last year for my psych class. im sooo sorry for your situation. I dont even know what to tell you other than your going to need a strong support system dear!!! best of luck to you!!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 8:54 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • My step son who is 11 also has ODD. He lives with us every other week so on our weeks I have to deal with homework. Talk to the school. He should qualify for a 504 if not an IEP. We set it up with his school so that if he did not finish his homework (in a reasonable amount of time)he would do it in the office or library at lunch time the next day at school. As for the rest of life, we would not make it through without monthly therapy for him and then the dr tells us how to handle the latet situations. I know it is far from easy. Try and find a support system, if not family and friends then at least in an ADHD/ODD forum on CM or elsewhere (there are many of us out here) Stay strong, you can do it just remember that no matter what you love him.

    Answer by Carajust at 9:06 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I have a beef as a therapist with ODD. I'm not knocking your therapist but many of the kids I have had come to me with a prior diagnosis really have had things like anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, OCD, or combinations of any of the above. Really many more possibilities. I have never liked that particular diagnosis. I have given it many times.....out of a need to have one for insurance purposes in order to bill but in reality I hadn't quite settled on what I thought was most accurate diagnosis. Mental health issues are so very difficult. I believe they are equally important as physical health issues. Hang in there. In the mean time things that have helped without formal treatments: routine, boys and girls club, big brother/big sister programs, you having time for yourself, exercise, eating better, hanging out and declaring a no yell zone/ creative. You have to think outside the box. Include your child.


    Answer by frogdawg at 10:33 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Tell him that you want things to be different but you are not sure how, that things have to change, and ask for his input. Be willing to accept that he may have things to suggest about how you react. Stay open and listen. It doesn't make him right but his thoughts and feelings are not wrong either. Work together as a team to come up with solutions, many parents I knew felt like it was a battle every day. Get on the same side of the battle field. Instead of battling each other let him know you are both going to battle these disorders and that you and he can gain control. Even let some steam out by a pillow fight against the "disorders" Take turns being anxiety, anger, or other emotions and the other can take whacks at it. Or beat on the bed together. Present a team effort where you are the team leader. Good luck....this is one of the hardest things a parents has to cope with.


    Answer by frogdawg at 10:37 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • My son was diagnosed with ADHD w/ ODD. I have experienced putting him on multiple meds. I hear people bashing Ritalin all the time. However they haven't tried it with their kid with the problem. My son takes Ritalin and what a difference in him. He is 8 and is totally more focused and well behaved. And not a zombie either. He takes 15mg when he gets up in the morning and 5 mg when he gets home from school.

    Oh and I asked about the statistics of children using Ritalin that turn into drug users as teens or adults. The Doctor stated most children dont want to take anything. Because they are tired of taking drugs their whole life.

    Answer by busymom1107 at 7:45 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

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