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Trouble with the father?

My son's dad hasn't bothered in almost a year now tonight he called and wanted to see him but my son knows my boyfriend as daddy and tht is all he knows anymore my son is going through enough already with going to riley every month because of vision problems my sons father is now saying oh i'm gonna call the cops because i'm keeping his son away from him i just don't get it i'm so frustrated is there anything i can do to get him to quit harrassing me

 
a_mommy_forever

Asked by a_mommy_forever at 8:59 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • You'll get answers on both sides but I think the majority would say just the opposite of the above poster. Just because someone is a sperm donor DOES NOT give them the right to be in their child's life. You need to do what you feel is best. Your child will grow up one day and resent you for something anyways. As long as you feel you have your child's best interests at heart you don't need to worry about it. He hasn't been around for a year...why does he care now? Your child might resent you for keeping him away from his bio father or he might resent you from not protecting him against his bio father. Do what you feel is best.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:16 PM on Aug. 31, 2009


  • If there is not a visitation order then don't even answer his calls until he takes you to court for visitation. If there is a custody order call the law guardian your son had or the lawyer you had and ask them what you should do.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:04 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I agree with goaliemom93.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:09 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • But your boyfriend is not his father. He has a right to see his child. And if you wont let him, hopefully he will be smart enough to get a court order.

    My mom kept my dad away from me "for my own good." I am 28 years old and I dident know him until I was 15. I still hold a lot of resentment tword her.

    Just because he knows BF as Daddy doesent mean that you should keep your son from having a realationship with his real father. You did not state that he was abusive and/or a drug addict. Maybe he was gone for a year because he had some growing to do. Let him see his son or all the blame will fall on you when he is old enough to make his own decisions.

    Also, my daughter is hearing/speech problems. I wouldent use that as an excuse ;)
    softchick21

    Answer by softchick21 at 9:09 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • "Sperm Doners" pay child support dont they? The law does NOT state that you have to stay away for one year to terminate your parental rights!!!

    He hasn't been around for a year...why does he care now? This is my favorite line personally.

    Can Fathers not change? Are we all not human and do not deserve a second chance??? It is his FATHER!!!

    If my mother wasent so wrapped up in her boyfriend (who i was made to call daddy) then I would have known my father as a child. Ugh. This conversation makes me sick.

    Give the man a chance.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • ""Sperm Doners" pay child support dont they? The law does NOT state that you have to stay away for one year to terminate your parental rights!!!


    No, actually sperm donors don't have to pay child support. All states have their own laws regarding parental rights or the establishment of parental rights. Sorry, just because someone can reproduce does not automatically give them rights to the child. Op, if his name is on the birth certificate and you haven't established full legal and physical custody, do so asap.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:32 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • If there is not court order he can not call the police. If there is order for an emergency modification.

    Call the police, they will tell him to stop harassing you, if he does not he will be arrested.

    Your son has a father and unless his rights are terminated and your boyfriend adopts him he should understand who his father is. Though in a case like my ex's oldest he has visitation order and moved cross country, his oldest was raised by another man and she sees him maybe once every 2-3 years. I don't see why her mother has yet to cut him out, I suspect it is his "Pitty poor me" act that gets her.

    From an adult who was in this situation as a child, I do NOT resent my mother for not allowing my father to pop in and out of my life when he pleased. I am very glad she did her best to protect me and what she saw as best
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • If I were the child's father, I'd DEMAND to see my child. He is NOT just some sperm donor...shame on you. He's the father of your child, YOU chose to lay with the man, woman-up and deal with it. If you didn't want to be bothered with him, you shouldn't have kept your legs closed. Your new boyfriend is NOT the father. Shame on you single women for messing up your kid's lives with this "sperm donor" crap. You ought to be ashamed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

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