Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you,or wouldn't you ?

I just read a question in a group, if, your 17yr. old teenager was dating,would you just give him or her condoms. Me,myself have 5 grown daughters, I have never given my permission for birth control,and none of my daughters were teen moms,3 were virgins until marriage. The mom said she wanted to do the responisble thing,to me the responible thing would be to make sure the teenager knows his responiblity,if,he's old enough to have sex,he is old enough to get his own condoms. The schools teach sex education,and some schools give out condoms. My job as a parent is to ,care,and teach and educate my child values,not teach my child,here is the comdoms,now go have fun,and sex it up. Please answer truthful.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (16)
  • No, I'd take her to get on birth control if she wanted it.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:00 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I put my youngest on BC. Because I found out she was having sex. I did not want to have to raise a grandchild. My oldest seemed to want to wait tell she was older to have sex.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:05 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • my son is only 10, however I am thinking of what I would do in that situation. Of course we all want our kids to wait until they are old enough and responsible enough to handle the consequences. Unfortunately, that is not the case for a lot of teenagers Two of my cousins were teens when they got pregnant. But it's not just the pregnancies that worry me. It's the diseases that can come from unprotected sex. I believe that talking with your kids and being open and honest about how you feel about them having sex is a must. However, just because you don't want them to have sex doesn't mean they're not going to anyway. I would much rather my child be protected than come home with a pregnant girlfriend or some disease that could possibly ruin the rest of his life. I would let him know that even though I may be buying condoms for him, it's not because I approve of it. I just want him to be safe if and when he makes that choice

    Answer by blueeyes4ever at 10:28 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I try to be open and honest with our 13 yr old. He understands the risks and I make sure I go over it once in a while just so he remembers. And I have told him to please come to me if he has those feelings and doesn't know what to do. I know he probably won't, but I'm hoping he will make the right choice and wait. I have told him, once he goes down that road there's no going back. Your body is the one thing you should be extremely selfish with because it's with you forever, and it's yours. Don't let anyone ruin it for you. And that sex is something you should cherish and it should be a special moment for 2 people, so don't take it for granted. As for condoms, yes I will probably give them to him when he starts dating. It's not going to be a ticket to sex, it's going to be a just in case. But he will know he'd better think it through because there are huge consequences no matter what.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:02 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Well, since there is no age limitation on who can buy condoms I would say they can get them for themselves. I have two grown boys, 28 and 23, and I raised them both to be responsible for the birth control. But I never once supplied them with the condoms. If they wanted to get laid they were on their own. I also told them if one of their girlfriends got pregnant they had a responsibility to the girl while she was pregnant and to the child for the rest of their lives. They're both intelligent men and we are expecting our first grandchild early next year from our oldest.

    Answer by AuntieM at 11:11 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I am raising my kids to know about contraceptives...I have always taught them what their options are, how much these contraceptives cost, how to use them, and how to obtain them...

    I fully encourage contraceptive use, and encourage safe, informed sex...

    I would gladly take my kids to get a pelvic exam/STD test...I have always raised them telling them about these tests and how they can get them done...they know where Planned Parenthood is and how to make an appointment...

    If my kids are in happy, healthy relationships, I am not going to stop them from having rule is that they have to pay for their own birth control.

    Answer by Mousuke at 11:29 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • My eldest daughter is 14 and I have always been very open with her about sex. If she came to me and told me that she was having sex then I would of course get her onto birth control, I would respect her honesty, and even though I would not be happy about the situation I don't believe that forbidding her is right, I've got to let her make her own decisions. But I wouldn't give her birth control randomly, as in I know a friend who when her daughter got to 13 just stuck her straight onto the pill, and do you know what she did? Went out and had sex since what was the point in not friend almost made sex seem like a smaller deal than it is by putting her on BC so quickly. Almost as if she did not trust her so she may as well do it. BUT round here you can't buy condoms until you're 16 so my eldest knows where there's some spare if she's ever desperate.

    Answer by mommatomanyy at 6:42 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • I have sons and while, ideally, I would have them wait to have sex - they won't, they didn't. I would never provide condoms for them - but I damn sure told them IF they were going to participate then they better put a hood on it! I also told them VERY harshly - if they came up with an STD they would pay for their own doctor's visits and meds - and if they got a girl pregnant that I would (proverbially of course) put a foot on their head, and put the screws to them to make DAMN sure they not only did the right thing by that baby - but by it's mother as well. (not meaning marriage - but meaning that they would FOREVER be bound in my eyes - to be cordial, considerate and supportive of her - period). I was pretty harsh about what I told them - to date I have a 19 & 21 yr old and no grandchildren and no STDs (that I know about).

    Answer by PaceMyself at 7:25 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • This post is going to come off as very hypocritical considering I'm a teenage mom, but here goes..

    NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!!

    Not once, never.

    "Just because I don't want them to doesn't mean they won't"
    It's called parenting.

    You DO actually have some control over what your CHILDren do.

    If my mom had bought me condoms, I wouldn't've used them and still would've been a teen mom, I was married when I got pregnant, but hey, who's counting?

    My daughter will NOT be getting birth control, this may sound...deceitful, but I too will encourage my daughter to tell me when she has sex, and I will also be sure to express how....not is it be a sexually active teen.

    If she tells me one day she's had sex, rest assured it will not happen again. She will be on lock down until she's 18.

    That may sound..commandeering, but it's for the best for her. As a parent, I know what's best.

    Answer by gabrielle_x at 8:04 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • I'm not going to let some..otherworldy desire to be more like my daughters friend than her mother.

    Friends, friends are the ones who pretty much goad you to having sex. What kind of message do you think you send when you tell your kids you'll buy them condoms if they want to have sex?

    A crappy one I assure you.

    In teen lingo, regardless of what you say when you give them condoms/put you on birth control, the message is GREEN LIGHT, HAVE SEX, HAVE FUN, BE SAFE!"

    There is no, this is only for if you WANT to! And if you find out they're having sex and don't reprimand them, you're just giving them the green light further! Unless you personally, every day give your daughter birth control, then I wouldn't trust even that she'd use it correctly 100% of the time.

    Don't want to be a grandparent at 40? Stop acting like sex is some rite of passage.

    Again, as a teen mom that's the best advice I can give any parent.

    Answer by gabrielle_x at 8:08 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.