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Is it fair that my husband splits his check with his mom and stepdad and not me and doesn't buy anything for our kids?

He does in-home supportive services with the county. His parents are the ones he does the in-home for. He cleans their house and stuff and takes them to their doctor appointments and such. But his mom only lets him do it if he splits the checks with her and her husband. So I don't get any money from him from the checks or any other income he gets and he never buys anything for our kids. Am I the only one who doesn't think this is fair? Shouldn't he at least buy stuff for the kids even if he doesn't give me a penny? What should I say to him about it? I've tried just asking him for money to buy stuff for the kids or even just for me to have in my pocket in case of emergencies but he just blows it on cell phones and beer for him and his friends. And now they're saying they want half of his income tax that he's gonna get from working the job. Its pissing me off.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I think that's illegal. They are asking for cash back on state funds. Your man and his parents could get in some serious trouble seeing as the money comes out of the government's pocket. As far as him and you. Sounds like you aren't a priority and won't be anytime soon. Move on and value yourself and your children enough to not settle for this crap. Find a man who has his priorities straight.

    Answer by Steff107 at 9:25 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Get a job, divorce him. Move on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • His parents shoudln't be getting any money. She is just using him. Your DH needs to get a real job so that he can make more money. Also he does need to make sure you have access to the money as well because you two are married. If he cannot share the money then maybe you should try to get a job and make your own money so that you can provide for your kids.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 9:29 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • It is illegal.I think if he is that selfish,you should file for divorce.Report him to in home supportive services,anonmously.Go after him for child support.File for child support.Run down to the child support office and tell them.Myhusband does help me provide for his kids.You need to get a job.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • His mom only "lets" him help her if he gives her money? How nice. And she doesn't care if her grandchildren are supported? Really nice. This whole situation stinks to high heaven. Too bad your DH can't stand up to his parents, but somebody needs to, if only for the sake of your children. Don't take this treatment. You're worth way more. If he doesn't agree to support the kids AND you, why should he be getting a tax break? Leave, and do it yourself. You are, anyhow.

    Answer by SaraCVT at 9:39 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • that is screwed up. all of them are screwed up and selfish. i agree with the 4 above comments. if you are married i feel the money is OURS not a mine and yours. he doesn't sound very responsible either.

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 9:43 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • i seriously don't understand that you get none of "his''s your money too. How long are you gonna let this go on????? :Leave him!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I believe it's illegal as well. Normally you cannot take money for doing services like that for a family member. I'd be checking with the authorities. If you are not getting the money then you have nothing to lose for reporting it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:46 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • thats such bullshit, girl u need to pack ur bags and get ur kids into a better place and then when he ask why are u leaveing tell him u have had enough of his and when he is ready to grow up and take on responseablity then maybe we can talk. dont let a man take over your life. be the mother that you are and do whats right. no man is worth staying with if he treats u and ur kids that way. get ur self a job and your own bank account. hope things work out for u and ur kids.

    Answer by lilcalimom02 at 9:47 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • It's not illegal to get paid to care for a family member! My best friend did with her brother for years. Not only was it her job, it was all she did.Taking care of someone like that is a full time job blood or not.It is however illegal for the person getting cared for to ask for the $$ back. It's a form of government fraud and it's a federal offense. I looked it up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

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