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My daughter was raped, where is a good place or websitewhere we can get answers?

My daughter came to my husband and I yesterday and told us she had been raped. She is 15 and stated that it happened this last May. I am not to sure on the details the police told us not to ask her anything until a rape consoler talks with her on weds. I am a wreak and need somewhere I can get some answers on how to deal with this. Please if anyone knows of a good support please tell me!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Aug. 31, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • I cannot believe they are making you wait until WED. I do not know who you can call but is there a rape crisis number in your area? Look online for rapecrisis hotline number.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Start with the doctor or local social services that can put her and maybe you, in touch with a counselor. Did she go to the hospital and get a rape kit done?

    I and a handful of my friends have been date raped. While I don't know your daughter's circumstances, it is possible to move forward. I was 14 at the time and am 40 now with kids and an education and happy marriage. She'll need to work through things, she'll be mad, if not now, down the road and she'll eventually hate rapists if not already. This happens to all socio-economic kids, no one is exempt. She will be okay and you will need to be there and strong for her. You guys can get through this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Google it. Search for rape crisis, coping with rape, etc. As a teen I was also raped. It was very hard for my mother too. Make sure she gets help right away. I as an adult still have some self esteem issues to address but I'm getting better. It's therapy for a good long time, not just here and there. I hated myself for so long after that and I got involved in drugs and I also felt like I never deserved to be happy or have anything good happen to me. Today I have a family that loves me, and I do have some peace and can enjoy life because I got help. My heart goes out to all of you. You have a long road ahead from here, walk it together.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 11:28 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I am so sorry to hear this. I can't not imagine what you are going through. Pray for strenght. The lord will provide and see you through it.
    sol_joshi

    Answer by sol_joshi at 11:29 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • She is going wed. to the rape crisis center so they can interview her and get the details. She did not get a rape kit done because it happened in May and she was afraid to tell because of what her friends would think or say.

    The worst part about it is he took her virginity. This is really overbearing for us all. I am just so sick on the way the police and investigators are handling this. You would think that they would tell us of some place to go or someone to talk to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Yes, it is sick. Maybe there are legal reasons they aren't helping but that seems odd. As I see it, she won't be able to get the guy without the kit which means she will need to work through this without that closure. You know, I think you just really need to watch her like a hawk for a long time. Someone above mentioned the drugs and others tend to then sleep around or fall into other bad patterns. What I didn't get was the proper counseling. I told my folks no becaue I didn't want to speak about it to anyone and looking back, that was a terrible mistake. Counseling and more counseling and support either online or wherever. I learned you must talk about it in order to "own" it as a sad and profound part of your life. Then you can move on. I was a virgin too, at a party and drunk and this guy left me in the woods. My friends found me at 3AM. Everyone's story is awful so just really do the research and be there for her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I am so sorry to hear this. It's disgusting the way these things get handled. I know your daughter must have been scared to tell you but now that she did be strong for her. Please keep in mind that whoever did this will probably never go to jail or get any kind of justice but be strong please. Things will get better over time and she and you will be happy again. Don't let this jerk of a man ruin your lives. my prayers go out to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • Wow, I am so sorry you and your dd are going through this! I know they told you not to talk to her about it.....but I am sorry if that were my dd I would be talking to her, I would want to know what happened and when, where, who!!! That is my child, no one ever can tell me not to talk to her about something so serious!

    Try calling your local Women's Crisis Center, they are great. GL
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 12:13 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Make sure she gets help immediately. Don't try and force any information out of her, in fact just don't ask her about it, wait for her to come to you. I wished my mother had done this when I was younger. Try the local center they should offer help. Also a counsellor for both of you would be good. I always think in cases like this the parents should get taught how to deal with it also. Since it's hardly on the list of things to learn. And is very hard to do. I wish you all the luck in the world honey. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I will be thinking about you over the coming days.
    mommatomanyy

    Answer by mommatomanyy at 6:37 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • well you can check you local area for a safe place and there they can give you infomation and counsel you on how you are too react..and they have groups meetings that you can attend..check with they local dfcs, they can give you number and tell you how to treat the problem..i incourage counsel for the child and family..they child is a must even if she doesnt wanna she need too..i was rape at 16 and i told no one but 5 years later i had to get help...
    forensicmom82

    Answer by forensicmom82 at 7:02 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

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