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Does even mild sexual abuse as a child have an impact on you as an adult?

Ok, i know the term "mild sexual abuse" sounds rediculous(sp?) lemme explain. when i was little i matured very rapidly between 1st and 2nd grade. After that there was a string of men who touched me. an uncle who performed oral sex on me and touched me another time, a stranger who put his hand in my pants at a public pool, a teenage boy who attempted to have intercourse with me, a cousin who was in his late teens and treated me like his girlfriend..kissing and fondling me, and finally another uncle who exposed himself to me and touched my breasts one time( i think he was mastrabating, we were sleeping in the same bed, on a trip). finally at 11 i became pregnant by my boyfriend and had an abortion. i list this not for shock value, i have always thought this stuff didn't bother me...so much worse happens to others...but as i sit here 37 years old , wondering why i cannot get my shit together , i am forced to reconsider.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Sep. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Well that doesn't sound so mild to me. And yes sexual abuse as a child can still affect you as an adult, especially if you don't get any kind of counselling or help dealing with it as a child, you end up dealing with it as adult.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:04 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Sorry i ran out of room...i am not looking for sympathy, i am looking for others who may feel the same or have been in similar situations. I am a mother to three happy healthy children...but i am not happy or healthy...and it is time for that to change...i am just looking for answers...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Not sure where you get the idea that this set of experiences qualifies as 'mild.'

    It is very likely that all of these experiences, and everything else that ever happened to you, has contributed to what you believe about yourself, other people and the world. The events, while they certainly stand out in memory, didn't happen in a vacuum --they were entwined with other stuff you were seeing, hearing, thinking and learning. Some from the culture at large, some from close family and friends.

    But yes, sexual abuse experiences have an impact on adults. Hell, sexual abuse that happens to adults has impact on adults!
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:08 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • As i sit here waiting on responses, i think "am i using all this as an excuse?" my house is full of clutter, i don't want to get out of bed in the morning, i don't even want to shower...lets don't get into how fat i am. but i don't want to wallow(sp?), i want to get better. i want to be the mom i want to be...but i cannot, why?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Ii ws raped when i was 14 by a class mate at a friends houe. i'm now 34 and yes i still bothers me to this day. i wont let my 13 yr old DD go anywhere exsept to one of my friends house. i dont want the same thing to happen to her so i'm very over protected of her. i have just recently started counseling for this, and hope i can give my DD more space to grow up. if you want you can message me and talk more. GL
    okc-mom-2

    Answer by okc-mom-2 at 11:11 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • oh, i didn't even mention being overprotective of the the kids. my oldest daughter is 8, in 3rd grade. and the idea of her going anywhere terrifies me beyond measure. i know exactly what you mean.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • we moved up to oklahoma city last september, and we moved from a small town so the schools was very small, then putting her in this big school. there was 5 6th graders pregnat, and 8 7th graders pregnat. so i homeschooled her. cause i didn't want anything to happen to her. this yr. she really wanted to go back to public school so i had to put my fears aside and let her go back.
    okc-mom-2

    Answer by okc-mom-2 at 11:23 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • You need to talk to a counselor and maybe your doc, you maybe suffering from depression or kind of like a post traumatic syndrome kind of thing. It is ALOT for a child to go thru and then carry it into adulthood. Have you ever actually talked to anyone about everything that happened to you as a child? It sounds like you tell what happened to you like it was no big deal, and sweetie, that was a big deal! I dont know where but Im sure there is some sort of free counseling available for all you went thru. And maybe you need an antidepressant for a little while and let your brain re set some of the chemicals. Please talk to someone, Im sure that would help you alot.
    SuperMomof3kids

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 11:53 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • go to a counslor. you sound like your dpressed from previous child hood problems that never went away and were just pushed to the side so you didnt have to deal with them. and now its affecting your everyday life more and more. its going to get worse before it gets better and your children deserve a mother that has her life together. go to a counselor and discuss your problems. your signs sound like depression from keeping all of it in.

    get help. your children deserve it. Best of luck to you and your kids
    stephany21

    Answer by stephany21 at 11:57 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • That is NOT MILD sexual abuse. That's major sexual abuse and yes it's why you are having trouble getting it together. Ppl who harm children like that have no clue what damage they are doing to a child. I'm so glad there is karma and that they will get their just rewards in time. I'd talk with a counselor who specializes in sexual abuse. If that's not an option then work on forgiveness. Not for them but for yourself. Getting rid of the emotional burden of what they did, not to mention the confusion they caused, will take time but you can do it. They tried to devalue you. You have to replace that value and believe in yourself as a person, not a sex object like they tried to do. I hope karma works fast on them. I hate it when someone harms a child. I hope they rot in hell....but then they may be rotting in their personal hell so maybe karma is already working!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:59 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

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