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he hit me again, while i was holding my daughter (just a little vent)

As the title reads. why dont I get out of this... whats wrong with me?

After he hits me, i'm so ready to leave.. but he hides the phones or doesnt let me go out until he feels i'm "calm" again.
I don't want my kids to go and see the same things I did growing up.

I hate this.. I wish it never got to this point.

what is wrong with me.. why wont I leave when I get a chance. i hate my self .. i hate my self!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on Sep. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (27)
  • Hmm, you know your options, you either choose to leave and give your children a chance, or you choose to stay and get hit
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:57 AM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Because you're scared and you believe this is the way its supposed to be, REALITY CHECK! It's not, go I want you to go! Pack up while he's gone just take the bare nesscities, go to family go to a shelter GO! NOW!
    rebel07

    Answer by rebel07 at 12:00 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • WE HAVE A SPECIAL NEEDS DAUGHTER, SO IT'S NOT AS EASY TO LEAVE. I WOULD NEED TO TAKE ALL HER EQUIPMENT, ETC
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • omg.it's sounds like something i've been thru it's either you leave if you have that option or you saty but he has to get help like some management class because it will get worse.
    pregoteen

    Answer by pregoteen at 12:02 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Not bashing but are you going to wait until he hits the child or knocks her out of your hands and she gets hurt? If you won't think of your own safety then think of her's. Call the police or a domestic violence shelter. If you don't show him this is not acceptable then he will continue it and it will get worse. Some states will charge an abuser harder for hitting a woman who is holding a child bc of how doubly dangerous it is. Please do something. No matter what it is. You don't have to leave if you don't want but get others involved. Sometimes they behave if they know they are being watched. Please stay safe
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:03 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • You do know that you answered your own question, right?

    If you didn't, as you say, 'hate' yourself, you would protect yourself appropriately. Either you agree that, really, you deserve this treatment or that, in that moment, you earned it. Neither are accurate, from a legal or humanitarian viewpoint (people are not for hitting, and assault is assault, even if someone was baited into it)... but your beliefs drive your behaviour.

    Crimes can be reported up to 7 years after the event. I am confused about why you don't call the police when the phone is back within reach... or walk away as soon as you are free to do so. Talking to the police in a calm, rational state will make reporting the incident easier.

    Of course, the other problem is the need for his approval and love. If you report him, he might not like you. Of course there's people who would say he clearly already doesn't like you.

    Look up Stockholm Syndrome.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:04 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • And because you have a special needs daughter it means its OK for you and her to be abused?? I'm sorry, but you have to make a decision. I"m not saying it's easy, but again it's a decsion and a choice. There are soo many organizations out there to help women like you. So again make the choice and then stick to it
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:04 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Its time to start planning your escape. you deserve better, but you need to be ready to leave. Not cause he hit you right then, but be ready to leave for good! Start a plan. When is a time when he is gone for a few hours. Can someone pick you up. Cna you have a list of things to throw together. Start preparing in your mind so you dont forget something later. just take necessities. Dont forget pictures if you hav etime to get those out. Ithink it will get worse when you leave him so you need to have a plan in place!! For your sake and your dd's find a way to give her a peaceful home!!!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:04 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Just picture your daughter getting hit when she's older because she learned from MOMMY that it's OK to be HIT! So what if you have to run to family or a shelter. Leave for your kid's sake!
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:08 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • The longer you stay the more your children will think it's ok to treat people the way you are treated or to be treated the way you're treated. Sons of fathers who hit their wives are much more likely to become abusers themselves, and daughters are much more likely to be abused. You need to get out for your sake and for your children's. Get a friend or a neighbor or someone at a women's shelter to help you move your daughter's equipment. Stop making excuses you're worth more than this. And even if you don't believe that, which you don't or else you would have left long ago, your kids certainly are. Leave.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:08 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

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