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How do I get over it?

I had a very very difficult infant - always crying all day, wasn't a good sleeper at all, was never smiling or coo-ing - whining, didn't like toys etc.. I had a hard time bonding with him because of this. Well he'll be 2 in a couple months and I love him - he's great - still whiney and a tough kid BUT.. that's just him - believe me, Ive taken him to the doctors Over and over for there to be an actual reason.. .but there isn't.... anyway - my question is - I get really resentful or upset when people talk about how great and happy their baby is and I don't know how to get over it - I AM happy they have an easy baby - I wouldn't wish anyone to go through what we had to go through but why do I still feel so envious and resentful? I always wanted 2 kids and Now... NO WAY! so why should I care what other people's babies are like? I guess I am still in pity mode.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Sep. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • If you want another child dont let having one difficult child stop you.

    Every child is so different, my first one was easy going but my last one was a bear! LOL

    I have a hard time dealing with people who have children that cooperate while I sit here with a 5 yr old that wouldnt do what I asked if I was on fire. Its hard but it just have to shrug your shoulders and move on with your day. Just remember all your blessings when it comes to your child. Thats what I do when I get those envious feelings going.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 12:36 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • you should have another baby. bet you will get an easy one this time.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:31 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • I'd take him to a different doctor to have him checked. I was a happy baby then one day my mom said I completely changed, always crying, not happy, throwing fits, turned out I was almost deaf! They did surgery and now I'm back to normal again. You shouldn't be upset b/c someone has a happy baby, everything happens for a reason, I know you have had a hard time, but I'd get him checked out.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 12:39 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • While Purpulbutterfly may not be absolutely accurate, it is so possible that you will have an easy or at least easier baby the next time. Its true.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • The grass is always greener on the other side. Even if other peoples’ babies seem like they are “easy” to take care of, trust me, they are not! Just because they did not struggle with crying like you did does not mean that they do not have other issues to deal with. Focus on yourself & your family; do not daydream about how great other people have it. Everyone has struggles and hardships and has bad things happen to them. Just be thankful that your struggle is crying and not cancer, asthma, or some other horrible disease/condition!

    Answer by CNehneva at 12:54 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • All babies are different. In fact, I wouldnt expect your second one to be like your first one. I would expect them to be MUCH different. What goes on in other peoples homes shouldnt be affecting this in you. Youre just sad because you feel like youve missed out. Just stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that many of us have been through the same thing. Get back in the game and if you want another baby, then go for it. No more self pity!

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:06 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • He might be responding to your tension. Try to relax and not be stressed. Babies don't know why they do it, they just react to the energy in the room. Make it peaceful for you and for the baby. Turn off the tv, maybe play soothing music or cd with water sounds or have one of those mini waterfalls. I don't want to sound too New Age but babies feel things. Make sure he feels love and positive energy, relaxed atmosphere. If you are tense then he will be too. If there is nothing physical wrong with him then that would be my next step.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:08 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • First off, my first child is difficult. Always has been. My second child is much easier.

    Don't let having one difficult child keep you from having another. Most people's kids aren't exactly alike, in fact, they seem to be opposites a lot of the time.

    And yes, Momofsaee is exactly right. Everyone has issues and problems. No one has a perfectly happy life, with a perfectly happy baby.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 1:46 PM on Sep. 1, 2009