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My daughter's best friend's pregnant and wants to stay with us, what do I do?

My daughter's 14 and her best friend's 15, she's always told me about her best friend's behaviour. And how she's a lovely girl but always gets taken in by boys. Anyway, last month my daughter asked me to buy a pregnancy test for her best friend. So I did, and told my daughter to encourage her best friend to tell her parents if she was. Well turns out she is. And she told her parents and they kicked her out. And I think she's basically now living with us. But I have another baby on the way, and it really can't be a permanent situation, due to finances etc. I've called up her parents and they won't talk to me and I went round and they wouldn't answer the door to me. So I've written them a letter and they're not answering it. If they could contribute some money I wouldn't mind at all, she's a lovely girl who's made some mistakes but I really need to get this sorted. Suggestions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Sep. 1, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (16)
  • as horrible as this sounds its time to contact the authorities...she is too young for them to "kick out" they could get into trouble for that...and she should start looking into emancipation and finding a way to survive on her own....she might be a great girl...but she is having a baby and needs a dose of harsh reality.

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 1:26 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Her parents will most likely come to realize that that's their grandbaby that they're denying along with their daughter and hopefully will come around... Can they really legally kick the kid out at 15 years old???

    Answer by Nunyabiznes at 1:28 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • You have two options, you can take the child in and take care of her and her soon to be child or you can file for custody of the 15 year old and the parents would have to pay you child support. I would be reluctant not to have something in writing because the parents can say the child ran away and you're harboring her....

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:30 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • make some calls today for a local agency that can refer you to a professional
    you need to cover your ass, this is a minor, so you have to go through the proper channels
    and yes, you may get some $ for taking her in, maybe you would qualify as a foster home, but you have to fill out all the papers, dot your i's and cross your t's. this girl needs someone but the state has to be involved

    you have a big heart for wanting to help, but please cover your butt as well....she is a minor child

    Answer by boredmom44 at 1:35 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Call your local CYS or child protection services etc. If you have the room and the heart...please try and keep her with you it sounds like she needs stability and you can provide that. Financially the state WILL help you. You can qualify for food stamps, free lunches at school for the kids and support from her family unless parental rights are terminated and even at that I believe the state will provide you with finances to cover her portion of food and boarding as well as necessary items. Good Luck and keep us updated!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • What you do it go to court and file for emergency custody of her, and then you can go file for child support for her. Follow through with your court dates if you want permanent custody. Parents are still responsible for supporting their children even after they have babies of their own. I have a friend who's ex was ordered to pay child support for their 16 year old who had a baby last spring. He quit paying it when he found out she was pregnant. The girl lives with her Grandma in another town, and he has to pay CS to her mom. Crazy huh?


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • What is wrong with her parents? They sound horrible. I bet that's why she got pregnant--she was looking for love and her parents obviously aren't loving her! The poor girl. Somebody needs to talk to her parents--they are so wrong to kick her out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • God bless you, if,you are concern for her, it's time to call Children Services, for a few reasons, she is only 15,her parents can say she ran away,and you are harboring her,they can also deny to give you money ,because they didn't ask you to take their daughter in. Calling CS will help her,she will get help with her doctor visits,she will also get finance help for her and her baby.This money may come to you,but they will strictly enforced that all money be spend on her and her baby,not your household. I hoped you saved a copy of the letter you wrote her parents. Like, alot of parents,they are in shock at first,but,soon as they see their grandbaby,their heart will change. GOD BLESS YOU, so many parents would have made their child stay away from this girl.


    Answer by lady-t3984 at 3:53 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • i would take her in for time being but take her to social svcs to apply for temp asst n all that stuff they will either help her nby making her parents pay back shell take them to court..or they wont help her its worth a try also try a place called birhright..look it up online theres 800 number they can tell her about all kind of svcs inclu. teen homes where moms can have n keep there babies or give them up whatever the choose.but dont turn your back on her.good luck

    Answer by mommyny6 at 4:08 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Let her stay, but call CPS and tell them the situation and find out what you need to do. Poor girl. If i had gotten pregnant at 15, my mom would've been livid, but i know she wouldn't have thrown me out. She needs some love and support.

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 4:45 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

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