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Do SAHMs feel inadequate knowing that their husbands give them money only because of the children?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Sep. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (115)
  • Maybe the poster of this question didnt word her questions the right way? I wouldnt be so hard on her. I have felt that way before. I am a stay at home mom of three kids. I home school my oldest who is 8. I feel I work very hard, harder than my husband most of the time. Although he does not agree completly. lol. I DO sometimes feel put off having to ask for money for things that I used to get my self when working. We do not have a joint account or an account at all. So he earns money and I keep track of the bills but when we need things arround the house I have to ask him for the money to get them. It sucks. But it is worth it. I will add also that my husband is wonderful to us. He is a great provider. And very loving. Just a bit absentminded and does not understand how much things cost. Maybe the poster is in a simular situation?

    Answer by tannabanana at 8:37 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • What are you talking about????

    Answer by mamaada at 2:38 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • That is an inflammatory statement!!! Husbands don't give them is the family's money. They both have a job to do...he makes money and she tends the kids.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:39 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • What do you mean? My husband's check goes into OUR joint checking account at midnight every Wednesday. Nobody gives anybody any money or sort of allowance-It's just money and we share it.

    Answer by theutilitarian at 2:43 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • OP let me tell you something even if a woman doesn't have children the husbands likes to contribute to the marriage. I don't know what are your talking about.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Are you kidding? In a normal marriage,the husband's earnings are for the whole family!!! The wife buys the groceries,the miscellaneous stuff such as gifts for relatives, postage and etc to mail stuff, Vet bills, the kids' school needs and clothes,etc. I could go on but i think you know what I mean.

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 2:46 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • My husband doesn't give me money only because of the children. Since the day we got married our finances have been shared in a joint account. I do not feel inadequate.

    I fail to see the point in your question.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • If it works that way in your family then I'm sorry for you. Doesn't work that way for us. Since the moment me and my husband became a couple (7 months before we got married) his money was "our" money. he started cashing his checks and depositing them into MY checking account and then we paid all of our bills with it.
    Once we were married I put him on the account and we have had a joint account since then. It used to be I paid all the bills and if there was any asking about having money it was him asking me because I actually knew what was in the account. I gave up being the bill minder because it stressed me out so now I do ask if I can have money but I'm not asking permission, just if there is enough in the account to take some out and it's usually for me, not for the kids (like yesterday I asked if we had enough for pizza because I was hungry and didn't feel like cooking).
    If I know there is enough I don't even ask.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:49 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • That's what working women like you (i'm guessing that you work) want to believe. Your inadequacy of not knowing that your husband is more than a
    "money" partner inspires me to go on as a very proud stay-at-home mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • What a silly and immature statement.

    I was a stay at home wife without kids for 2 years before earning my teacher certification. My husband had no problem with supporting our family (yes a marriage is a family) before children.

    He is the head of the home and I am the heart. I have a job (keeping the home, not house, running smoothly and lovingly) it just doesn't pay cash.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 2:56 PM on Sep. 1, 2009